tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60535659815521387992023-11-16T12:11:37.402+01:00Dancing FoxMusings is a pretty word. So here are the musings of an Aspergirl with a love of life, a passion for stories, and an ongoing faith journey.Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-83146842819731625722019-01-28T16:15:00.000+01:002019-01-30T10:42:37.082+01:00Abortion is murder?<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
A law was passed in New York, "<a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/new-york-passes-abortion-bill-late-term-if-mothers-health-is-at-risk-today-2019-01-23/" target="_blank">safeguarding rights laid out in Roe v. Wade</a> and other court rulings, including a provision permitting late-term abortions when a woman's health is endangered". I believe this is a good thing. I believe this is NOT about "murdering babies".</div>
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I am Christian, from an Evangelical background, and I know many of my friends will have a knee-jerk reaction to this. So, please, friends, consider this.</div>
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I am a woman. I had two miscarriages, causing me deep e<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;">motional pain as well as physical pain. I am now 5 months pregnant and I thank God every day that my baby is alive and healthy so far. My point is, I know how it feels to have a baby grow inside of me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I cannot believe, not for one second, that any woman would carry a baby in her womb for so long and then suddenly, out of the blue, decide to get rid of it for reasons of convenience. Serious health complications can and do arise later in pregnancy that leave a (heartbroken) woman no other choice but to abort. It's not only her life that can be in danger, it can be a fetus that is not viable. An acquaintance of mine found out during a second-term ultrasound scan that her baby's brain had failed to develop. We are not even talking about a brain problem that would result in severe physical or learning disabilities, but about an issue that would make the baby unable to survive once it is born. The lady had to abort. What else could she do?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Someone on Facebook shared a story about a fetus with an undeveloped heart which was detected late in the pregnancy. The mother was past 24 weeks, carrying a dying baby.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">B</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">abies can and do die in the womb for various reasons. What happens when a human dies? The body starts decaying. What happens if dead tissue starts decaying inside a person's (the mother's) body? You die of septic shock. So it is necessary to abort the dead fetus.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Those are the cases that make allowing late-term abortions necessary. I will not rejoice over abortions, but I am aware that in some cases, there is no other choice.</span></div>
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-81924235077030001932018-06-14T10:57:00.001+02:002018-06-14T10:57:34.632+02:00The second time - Chronicles of a miscarriage<br />
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The second time, you are prepared.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you realize you are pregnant, you feel no rejoicing in your soul,
only anxiety.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In fact you feel terrified, because you know the odds are real: between
1 in 3 and 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriages in the first term. It's no
longer a theoretical figure, because <a href="https://amifoxordancer.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=Yi83_2MBAAA.3nBUhr2x11AL_bQ7UO0HtgCD6oO4wdcUC_njDHOMyfx4oQRT2IrmmO4baQy47pdGXEUHAS0hn_wVByykJeMHRQ.XsKG_mygWtv918T_i6FElQ&postId=8192423507703000193&type=POST" target="_blank">you've been through this before</a>. It's not
theoretical - it's potentially real. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So you detach yourself emotionally. You say, "OK, I'm
pregnant. But this pregnancy may or may not stick". You do not use the
term "baby" in your mind. </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Ever.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">You dare not speak to the little one
or call it loving names. You dare not feel excited. You dare
not discuss baby names or look at baby clothes. You
subsequently feel guilty for not bonding with it like you did for the first
one.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still, when you see a bright red spot of blood, you downplay it.
Sometimes a little bleeding during pregnancy is normal. And this stinging pain
in your right side, well, this can happen too and it isn't necessarily bad.
Nothing to worry about. Right? You book an appointment with the doctor anyway.
Your hormone levels indicate you are pregnant, but you already knew that. Another test is scheduled in a week to see if they are rising as normal.<br />
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When you start bleeding again and the swollen-ness of your breasts suddenly
decreases, you just know. Even though you were prepared for this, you cry your
heart out. And when the second blood test shows levels are dropping, you are
not surprised. You resign yourself to the fact that you had a second
miscarriage.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This time, it hurts more physically. And you feel angry. "Why is my
body doing this to me?" <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is no answer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You turn to God and you cry out, "The Lord is my Shepherd... even
though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for
you are with me."</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But by the grace of God go I.</span></span></div>
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<br />Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-17475251256884476132018-04-10T10:35:00.002+02:002018-04-10T10:35:25.207+02:00Living with high-functioning autism: a vlog.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Vlog.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I made this video for a friend who is a 7th grade teacher in the US. She asked me to record a personal testimonial for her class. I figured I might as well share it with a wider audience.</span><br />
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<br />Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-17018691420590703562018-03-01T10:55:00.000+01:002018-04-10T10:48:11.486+02:00This small great loss<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have long hesitated to write about this, because it is deeply personal and painful. But it is time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In early November 2017, I noticed a change in my body that I had never experienced before. My breasts felt bigger and swollen. I have known my breasts since I was 16, and they had never felt like this. My mother had told me years before that she knew she was pregnant, not because of a missed period or morning sickness, but from the way her breasts felt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My period wasn't due yet, so I had to wait about a week. I woke up very early that Saturday morning, and just couldn't wait anymore: I took a home pregnancy test. It came back positive. I remember climbing back into bed and whispering to my partner, "Are you awake?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The following week, I booked an appointment with my doctor, and she confirmed I was 6 weeks pregnant. I was overjoyed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We had been trying for a baby for a long time, so you can imagine how excited we both felt. It was difficult not to get carried away. My partner expressed that he felt joyful and serene about being a father. We chose a boy's name and a girl's name. I talked to my baby a lot. I called it Peanut. I told them we were so happy they were finally here. I told them about about my partner, about my friends, about my work, about my family. I loved them already.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The following week, I noticed some light spotting, so I called my gynecologist. He reassured me that it was very common, nothing to worry about. So I put that nagging little fear at the back of my mind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On the Thursday evening, I went to the bathroom. There was a lot of blood in my underwear. I started muttering, "No, no, no, no, no, no" over and over. When I wiped myself, there was something on the paper that wasn't a blot clot. It was no bigger than a grain of rice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I had seen enough embryo development photographs to know what I was looking at. I knew I had just lost my baby.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I booked an appointment with the gynecologist. He was again very reassuring, saying bleeding does not equal miscarriage, and dismissed what I had seen. "Women always think they see something". There was nothing on the ultrasound, and he still was reassuring - at such an early stage, it's hard to see anything. Better wait for the blood test results. I clung to his words, to hope, but deep down, I knew. And sure enough, my pregnancy hormone levels were dropping dramatically. My gynecologist downplayed it, using words such as "chemical pregnancy", "a small miscarriage", "too early to call it a real pregnancy anyway". Maybe he was trying to be comforting, but it hurt even more to hear my grief dismissed in such a way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I cried for days. My partner was at loss, because he hadn't felt it all happen in his body. To him, it felt more like another failed attempt. But to me, it was devastating.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first time a friend of mine referred to my miscarriage as "the loss of your child", I cried with relief. What I had seen that day, no bigger than a grain of rice - my child. I felt my grief was finally acknowledge for what it was.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Weeks passed, then months. I reached what would have been the 12-week mark, the moment when the miscarriage risk is supposed to decrease, the moment most people choose to make the happy announcement. And I cried and cried. I still cry now. I miss my pregnant body. Especially, I struggle with newborns and very small babies. Two of my colleagues recently gave birth and joyfully brought their child to work - I am happy for them, but I simply cannot look at, let alone hold, their baby. I do not know how much longer this will last.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What has amazed me even since is the amount of women who have told me these simple words: "It's happened to me too". My mother, my grandmother, friends, colleagues, refugee ladies. I had never realized it was so common. Between 1 in 3 and 1 in 5 in the first term - but this means nothing until it happens to you, and until you hear your sisters tell you how they suffered the same loss. And yet, not one really talks about it. Everyone tells you how how wonderful it is to carry another life inside you, how amazing it is to be a mother (and stories of how exhausting it is, and how it takes over your life!). But no one warns of you of this terrible grief you are actually quite likely to experience. No one tells you that you might suffer a loss that may be tiny in size, but leaves a huge hole in your heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is why I am writing this. We should not hide it and pretend it never happened, pretend that the baby we started to love never existed at all. We should be able to talk about this and grieve together as sisters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I put my baby in a small box, to bury in our garden.</i></span></div>
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-44842382435923278392018-02-25T16:20:00.003+01:002018-06-11T09:41:43.200+02:00Why I went to see Black Panther twice<br />
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">*Beware: spoilers*</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I was really excited about
seeing Black Panther, and when I did, last Monday, I loved it.</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I loved the issues it
addressed such as, "Should a wealthy country shut itself in to protect its
way of life, or should it help others?" It touched my heart for very
obvious reasons - after all, I work among refugees.</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I felt encouraged to see so
many positive, funny, smart, powerful (in the good sense of the term, not in the political sense) Black male AND female characters. I loved seeing those
female warriors kicking ass! </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I loved seeing what *could*
have happened if African countries had been able to benefit from their own
natural resources and build national wealth from it, rather than having it
robbed from them by colonialists. </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I felt moved by the
villain's storyline and felt sympathetic to a lot of his grievances (even
though I disagreed with his methods to try and put things to rights). He was a
very human and relatable character, I thought. And when he said, "the
world will be reborn, and this time, WE'll be on top", I felt deeply the
pain of a people who have been oppressed, enslaved, exploited and discriminated
against, not to mention having seen their resources plundered (including by my
own country) - and yet I felt a pang as I thought, "As long as someone is
on top, it means someone is at the bottom". And so what the villain wanted
to create, no matter what his initial motivations were,</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">was another injustice.</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I loved how, when Jabari
leader M'Baku is offered the chance to take the Black</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Panther's power by taking the
Heart-Shaped Herb, he chooses to help T'Challa instead, when he could so
easily grab power for himself.</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">And especially, I loved
hearing the king of Wakanda's speech to the United Nations at the end:</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="background: #fcfae7; color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Wakanda will no longer watch from the shadows. We
can not. We must not. We will work to be an example of how we, as brothers and
sisters on this earth, should treat each other. Now, more than ever, the
illusions of division threaten our very existence. We all know the truth: more
connects us than separates us. But in times of crisis the wise build bridges,
while the foolish build barriers. We must find a way to look after one another,
as if we were one single tribe.</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">So I decided to take
African asylum seekers to see it as a treat.</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">And then the debate begun
as one of my colleagues argued that only taking African people see it was
unfair. Well, yes and no. We are organizing special activities on Women's Day,
for example... and you could argue that's unfair. But the reason we do it it to
do something nice for people who have been oppressed one way or another. I
thought this movie was uplifting and positive for the African community. We
ended up going with 14 African people of both sexes (from Guinea, Sudan,
Burkina Faso, Rwanda, Angola, Senegal), one Iraqi guy and a young Albanian girl. They
loved the film. They giggled when T'Challa freezes upon seeing his
ex-girlfriend Nakia. They roared with laughter when Shuri points to T'Challa's
sandals, asking, "What are those???" They loved it when Agent Ross
tries some whitesplaining on M'Baku, the Jabari leader, who proceeds to silence
him by barking at him, together with his guards. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">They even applauded when the movie
ended.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">On the way back, I was
driving the van and I remained silent. I could have told them why I took them
to see this film. I could have told them what I loved about it, what my
favourite moments were. But I decided not to. Because it was their film, their
moment. I wanted to give them ownership of it and not rob it from them by
putting my white words and emotions on their experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">So I listened to them chat
excitedly about it, discussing which countries and tribes inspired the
costumes. And then, one of the guys said, "That was good." His friend
approved, "Yeah, that was good". And in that moment, I felt filled
with joy, as when two other guys came up to me before going back to their
rooms, saying, "Thank you for taking us. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">It was your idea, thank you."</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">#OneTribe</span></div>
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<br />Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-61408394589589374972017-08-15T21:14:00.000+02:002017-08-15T21:15:54.113+02:00Wake up.<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have been saying for a while now that the rise of fascism worries me. When I say this, friends and relatives look at with a patronizing smile and I can tell they think I'm over-reacting.<br /><br />Yet, recent events show that there is real cause for concern. What happened in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gibpuqwxd4E" target="_blank">Charleston</a> is a prime example. A Christian author who came as part of a counter protest writes <a href="http://brianmclaren.net/what-i-saw-in-charlottesville/" target="_blank">this</a>:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Many came dressed in white shirts and khaki pants, reminding me of
office workers or WalMart employees. Many wore helmets and carried
hand-made shields. They looked like they came expecting to fight,
threaten, and intimidate. Some came in paramilitary garb, heavily armed." </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the US, White supremacists are uniting in an organized way,
expressing their ideas proudly, and coming to demonstrations armed and
ready to fight. In Europe, they are <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4e7n7g1xAM" target="_blank">openly declaring themselves</a>; they organize <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36cfUbDXUbg" target="_blank">boot camps</a> to train; and raise
funds <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/jun/03/far-right-raises-50000-target-refugee-rescue-boats-med" target="_blank">to launch a boat </a>whose sole purpose is to send refugees back where
they came from.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I you wonder what you would have done during the
rise of Nazism in Germany, YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT NOW. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Are you looking for scapegoats for everything you feel is wrong in today's society? In the 1930s, it was Jews, today it's refugees, Muslims, Blacks, Hispanics, oh and Jews too for good measure. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Are you just
living your lives in indifference? Do you shrug it off or turn a blind eye?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Or do you s<span class="text_exposed_show">peak out, do you extend to hand of friendship to people who are different to you, do you educate yourself?</span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
If you care about people's lives, if you strive to love and accept
people no matter where they come from, please wake up. This is
happening.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> WAKE UP. Fascism is on the rise and human lives are at stake. Wake up.</span><br />
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-1146075745059279752017-08-11T19:55:00.003+02:002017-09-23T12:13:46.405+02:00Battling depression: down in the dark and out the other side<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">As I wrote <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2017/08/battling-depression-loneliness-of-not.html" target="_blank">in my previous post</a>, entering adulthood was a lonely experience for me. I felt depressed quite a lot, but a work-related burn-out and a break-up finally were the final straw and I spiralled deep into depression.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">I was out of a job. My doctor advised me to exercise, so I went outside the house and walked for 3, 4 or 5 hours. However, I spent most of that time brooding about all my perceived failures, so it didn't help much. </span></span><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">My sleeping patterns
gradually got completely messed up - I would get up at 3pm and go to bed at
4am. </span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">I had no energy at all. </span></span><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">I felt empty - physically, mentally and emotionally. </span></span>Even showering was too draining some days. Sometimes I would fall asleep on the sofa (I
literally could not help it, I felt so drained and heavy-eyed) and sleep
for hours, and I'd still feel tired when I'd wake up. I found no joy in the things I used to enjoy. For instance, </span></span><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true"> I
am an avid reader but back then, reading a book was too mentally
exhausting. I also lost my appetite, even though I normally love food. But back then all I could manage to eat in a
day was a small piece if toast and maybe an apple. </span></span>My very skin felt heavy, dragging me down. I pictured my own death over and over - either contemplating suicide or wishing to die in an accident. It felt like only death could finally make the dull, constant pain in my soul stop (<a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/08/robin-williams-suicide-and-choice.html" target="_blank">which I once explained in another post</a>). What stopped me
from doing it was knowing it would break the hearts of my loved ones.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">As a treatment, I was put on antidepressants (Citalopram), which gave
me the energy boost I needed to apply for a new job. I remember when I got
back from the job interview, I collapsed on the sofa from sheer
exhaustion and slept. Eventually, though, the antidepressants started to show their limits. They did not address the underlying issues that caused my depression. They also gave me a superficial feeling of happiness and of being
invulnerable. I started to engage in risky behaviours. I drank too much. I
slept around. But the fun I seemed to be having was only a shallow thing, an outer layer. Deep down, was still hurting, and
empty, and drowning. I asked my doctor to reduce the doses until I was
weaned off them. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">I want anyone reading this to understand that I am not saying, "Antidepressants are bad". I am just sharing what it was like for me personally - not two
people are the same.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">I went to see several counsellors, some of whom helped and some who did not. I also attended a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy course and it gave me some tools that at least
enabled me to fonction at work, but deep down I still felt the same.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="cv5ee-0-0">Yet, eventually, gradually, I started to get better.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="3p3ba-0-0"><span data-text="true">A
friend once asked me, "How did you overcome it?" I wish
I had a simple answer. I don't. Antidepressants helped me because they gave me
enough energy to find a job. Therapy helped me because it meant I could
talk through stuff and understand my own emotions better. A handful of
friends </span></span><span data-offset-key="3p3ba-4-0"><span data-text="true">were present for me - they didn't have a magic formula to make me
better but they were there and that was important. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="3p3ba-4-0"><span data-text="true">During that time, I received my Asperger's diagnosis, and finally understanding why I was different was a relief. Knowing myself better also allowed me to avoid overwhelming situations whenever possible.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="3p3ba-4-0"><span data-text="true">At some point, I moved
out of a big flat that was a drain on my budget and that lifted a big
weight off my shoulders. I also joined a wonderful church where I finally felt
loved for who I was and supported.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="3p3ba-4-0"><span data-text="true">Not a single of these things explain
how I got better, but all of them helped. I started <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/02/slices-of-happiness.html" target="_blank">finding joy in little things of life again</a>. I distinctly remember sitting in my new house and
realizing I felt happy for no particular reason, for the first
time in years. It doesn't mean I was OK after that but it was a turning
point, and things got better and better.</span></span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="11ecq-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Today, I feel like I am the happy woman I always was inside, the
one that was waiting to come out. <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2017/05/black-dog.html" target="_blank">It doesn't mean I am entirely free from depression forever</a>, but I can say with confidence that I am happy.</span></span></span><br />
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-82139445324804488112017-08-11T10:45:00.000+02:002017-08-11T10:54:15.050+02:00Battling depression: the loneliness of not fitting in<div data-contents="true">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">A while back, I started <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2016/02/battling-depression-part-one.html" target="_blank">sharing my experience with depression</a>. Today, talking with a friend reminded me I never got around to writing more about it.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">Throughout the years, I felt at odd with other people, those I perceived as "normal". I felt there was something deeply wrong with me, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.<br /><br />I was as lonely as a student than I had been as a teenager. When people my age were out partying, I was at home reading or studying. I wasn't invited and it didn't occur to me to ask whether I could join them. Instead of socializing, I would walk alone for hours in the streets of Brussels, dreaming my life away. I felt painfully lonely, and developed numerous crushes on boys that I never knew how to approach. The only way I knew was to tell them how I felt, with the immediate result of them pulling away from me. So, I imagined love stories that would never be.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">Once I started working, the loneliness persisted. My Asperger's quirks meant that people viewed me suspiciously. At the best of times, they made fun of me; often they disliked me. I never socialized with my colleagues.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">I never felt like I fit in in any job - I was like a square peg in a round hole. I felt inadequate no matter what I did and my self-esteem plummetted.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true">During that time, I met a man and started my first serious relationship (although that is a long story, for another time, possibly). As he was bipolar (with longer periods of being depressed than anything else), "caring" for him gave me some sense of purpose, but it was also mentally exhausting. I naively believed that I would love the depression out of him (not fully realizing I was suffering from depression myself). For the first time in my life, I experienced love and intimacy, but I never felt safe, because his depression caused him to react in unexpected ways and I felt he could leave me at any time.</span></span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I eventually took a postgraduate degree to become a primary school teacher. Teaching was a completely draining experience for me and </span></span></span><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">eventually </span></span></span><span data-offset-key="eihv4-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">led me to a full-blown burnout. Soon after that, my boyfriend left me, and I sank into severe depression. The following years were arguably the most difficult in my life.</span></span></span><br />
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-57929677427337003162017-08-05T10:35:00.002+02:002017-12-28T19:45:56.372+01:00Asperger's and empathy: feeling other people's sadness... or joy<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Asperger's syndrome and autism are funny things. People often wrongly assume that we have no empathy, but this is a misunderstanding of our condition.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I have <a href="https://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/06/asperwhat.html" target="_blank">stressed </a><a href="https://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/11/what-autism-isnt-and-what-it-is.html" target="_blank">before</a>, people with autism have social communication problems. This means we fail to read cues in people's facial expression, body language or tone of voice, that would indicate how they are feeling. Because of this, we can fail to respond appropriately to other people's emotions, or appear that we don't care. The reality isn't that we don't care, it's that we don't know. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It has been suggested that just as autistic people have difficulty dealing with sensory overload, <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/a-radical-new-autism-theory" target="_blank">they may struggle with emotions</a>,
too. Strong lights, sounds, touch, smells or tastes can be completely
overwhelming for us. In the same way, we would feel other people's
emotions too intensely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have autism, but I also have huge levels of empathy. I can struggle to read non-verbal language (although I am getting better at it), but if people verbalize their emotions, I feel deeply for them. When I realise someone is suffering, I feel an intense pang of sadness and anguish deep in my heart, together with the burning desire to make it better, to soothe and comfort the other person.. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In my work, I am confronted to <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2016/02/i-didnt-have-time-to-say-goodbye.html" target="_blank">heartbreaking stories</a>. And trust me, my heart breaks for them every time refugees tell me what happened to them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But last night, empathy worked in another, unexpected way: I felt deep, glowing happiness on behalf of another person. One of my closest friends is going through a very happy experience - and I felt as though my heart and my very skin would burst with happiness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It felt like dancing in a warm summer rain; like the way <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/08/retro-post-dance.html" target="_blank">music sometimes fills me up inside</a> and makes me want to run; like electric energy running through my body. And for the first time in a long while I started <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/02/happy-flappy.html" target="_blank">stimming</a>, because I needed an outlet for the strong emotions I was going through. I started bouncing up and down, then flapping my hands very fast, all the while feeling my body was not enough to countain all the joy I was feeling for someone else.</span><br />
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<br />Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-19363656021231241902017-05-03T11:06:00.002+02:002017-05-03T11:42:36.255+02:00Black Dog<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, hello there, Black Dog.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I thought you'd gone away. I hadn't seen you in a long, long time. What are you doing around here, anyway?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I mean, you have no reason to hassle me. I have a wonderful partner and a job I love. I live close to my family. I feel fulfilled and useful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So why are you lurking in the corner? Why do I see your fleeting shadow, on and off, blocking out the light? Why are your vacant eyes staring at me? Why are you gnawing at my heart?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Why are my eyes watering for no reason? Why do I feel so lost and alone, and why do I struggle to explain the unease and dull pain that creeps over me? Why does my strength fail me? I should get up, go see my Mum, visit friends, go for a run. I should talk to a friend. But you, Black Dog, are staring me into inaction and silence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What do you want with me, Black Dog? Leave me alone. You're not wanted here. Go back to whatever dark place you came from. You're not welcome.</span><br />
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-4447601359292144862017-04-16T13:01:00.002+02:002017-04-16T13:04:44.005+02:00Mary Magdalene (written 31/05/07)<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was there the day the sky went black.<br /><br />The crows were keeping their grim watch over Golgotha.<br />His body hung like a rag doll: gone the radiant life, gone the loving kindness, gone the merry laughter.<br /><br />My heart sank in an ocean of sadness, crushed by a hundred leagues of sorrow.<br /><br />What have they done? Rabboni, my beloved master!<br /><br />The source of my hope and joy was withering in the heat of men's hatred on Golgotha.<br /><br />I had no tears although my heart lay shattered<br />on the day the sky went black.<br /><br />The day after the Sabbath we went back to his tomb. We wanted to show our love and respect one last time.<br /><br />But the stone that shut the tomb was rolled away. The tomb was empty. His body was gone.<br /><br />My heart sank deeper. Couldn't they at least leave his poor, broken body alone?<br /><br />I crumbled to the floor, sobbing at last, my chest shaking with hurt and grief.<br /><br />Then, through my tears, I saw a man. I thought he was a gardener, until he spoke my name.<br /><br />"Mary."</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /><br />That voice!<br /><br />Warm as a fire, soothing as honey, wholesome as bread.<br /><br />His voice!<br /><br />"Rabboni!" My beloved master! He stood there. He was alive and smiling at me.<br /><br />I was there the day the sky went black. I was there also the day the sky opened up and life eternal poured through.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(from <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+20%3A11-16&version=NIV" target="_blank">John 20:11-16</a>) </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-10783336424304132572017-03-11T11:40:00.002+01:002017-03-11T13:19:14.411+01:00Atonement and the Cross<div data-contents="true">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="cfljr-0-0"><span data-text="true">When I read <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/the-one-word-that-could-change-your-view-of-the-atonement/" target="_blank">this article</a> by </span></span><span class="_247o" data-offset-key="cfljr-1-0" spellcheck="false"><span data-offset-key="cfljr-1-0"><span data-text="true">Benjamin L. Corey</span></span></span><span data-offset-key="cfljr-2-0"><span data-text="true"> last year, I had an epiphany.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true">The year I became a Christian, one book played a huge role in my conversion: C.S. Lewis' The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, I'll give a quick summary:</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true">Four London children are sent to the English countryside during WW2. They're staying in a big old house, and one day, while playing hide-and-seek, they discover a wardrobe that is a doorway into a fantasy world called Narnia. Narnia is under the domination of an evil White Witch; but all Narnians are expecting to be liberated by Aslan the Lion. At some point, one of the children is seduced by the Witch and betrays his siblings as well as all Narnians. He eventually rejoins them, but the Witch then reminds Aslan that traitors belong to her by law, and that she has a right to demand the boy's blood.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true">Aslan does not deny that, but he offers his own life for the boy's. The Witch gleefully kills Aslan, not realizing that there is a "deeper magic" at work, causing "death to work backwards". Aslan then comes back to life and goes on to defeat the Witch.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true">Of course, this is clearly a<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">n allegory</span> of the Christian faith and of Jesus' death, Aslan representing Jesus in the world of Narnia, <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">and his<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> taking the place of the b<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">oy is a metaphor of the Cross</span></span></span>. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true">Coming back to Benjamin Corey's article: i</span></span><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true">n many Evangelical circles, Jesus's death on the cross is explained as follows. God his perfectly just and cannot abide the evil things we do ("sin"). He loves us, but He cannot simply forgive us without punishing sin. Jesus, God's Son incarnate, dies a horrible death on the cross - and what He does there is take upon Himself the punishment for sin, taking on the wrath of God upon Himself so we can be forgiven. This is called penal substitution atonement. Corey wrote a <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/category/atonement/" target="_blank">whole series </a>on why he thinks, based on his studies, that theology of atonement is not only incorrect and reductive, but toxic.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true">In the article I mentioned at the beginning of this post, Corey looks at the word Jesus Himself uses when talking about His death: a ransom. Corey then goes on to argue that a ransom is paid to, say, kidnappers by the parents of a child. The ransom is NOT paid TO the parents. A ransom is paid to an evil character, not to a just and good one. Therefore, he sees the death of Jesus as a ransom not paid to God, but to the devil.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true">And at that point, I had my epiphany. I remembered Aslan's death in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and the thought struck me like a flash of light.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></i></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>God is not the Witch.</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It had been right there all along, in the one book that helped me understand Christianity. It had been staring at me in the face all along.</span></span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggvxVbzAeEeID7WtBd_5L4O9LUZlUo6JlwPOlsDmxL_QVEJlPuU4CZG-o3ukYOuvrigWcLOJ850Gd1SbD4xh44q3UboFv6NxuNe7K5-Arl2MFhQ2FVidbV-rR4GaIMYyuJRAzH3x0ACb5W/s1600/White+Witch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggvxVbzAeEeID7WtBd_5L4O9LUZlUo6JlwPOlsDmxL_QVEJlPuU4CZG-o3ukYOuvrigWcLOJ850Gd1SbD4xh44q3UboFv6NxuNe7K5-Arl2MFhQ2FVidbV-rR4GaIMYyuJRAzH3x0ACb5W/s320/White+Witch.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></i></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="dmvh5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>God is not the Witch.</i></span></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-25024672664284717882017-03-10T10:31:00.001+01:002017-03-10T10:34:56.893+01:00Islam - no way out?<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sometimes I hear a sentence that just startles me and makes me want to scream in frustration. Maybe that makes me a "snowflake", but there are things that I cannot let pass.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Recently, a Christian friend and I were discussing Islam and I explained someone I know was contemplating converting to Islam. I saw it as a positive, because the lady in question came from an atheist background and embarked on a spiritual search. My friend, however, did not see it quite in the same way.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"<span lang="EN-GB" style="line-height: 107%;">I
wonder if she realises that once converted to Islam, she has no way out - all
schools of sharia law prescribe either imprisonment or death for apostasy".</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="line-height: 107%;">My initial reaction was to want to bang my head against the wall. There are so many things that are wrong with this statement I don't even know where to start...</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
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</span></span></span><br />
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">First and foremost, we live in Belgium, where religious freedoms are protected by
law: people may not only choose their religion, but change it if they wish.
This means if my friend became a Muslim, she could change her mind
afterwards. Moreover, if her Muslim friends are open-minded, they will respect her choice either way. I personally know a young girl who converted to Christiniaty from a Muslim background, and her family respected and supported her choice. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I love and respect the Muslims I've come to know. I feel blessed to count them as friends, and
I get sad and angry when people tar them all with the same brush. When they ask me about my faith I
always tell them I am a Christian. I have never felt any hostility from them,
quite the opposite. They are some of the most respectful and hospitable people
I have ever met. In addition, I have great respect for their piety. Who among us Christians prays 5 times a day, or fasts for 40
days, or learns significant portions of Scripture by heart? Their devotion is
an inspiration. Of course, this doesn't mean I want to become a Muslim myself - I have explained before <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/09/the-day-i-set-off.html" target="_blank">how</a> and <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2016/08/why-i-am-not-muslim-and-why-i-love.html" target="_blank">why</a> I chose to follow Jesus.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="line-height: 107%;">"All
schools of sharia law prescribe either imprisonment or death for apostasy" is a blanket statement that fails to consider the diversity that exists within Islam</span>. True, some fringes of Islam want to impose sharia
law throughout the world, which includes severe punishment for apostasy. But
the key words here are "some fringes". Not all Muslims are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wahhabism" target="_blank">Wahhabi</a> - the fundamentalist, often violent branch of Islam who want to "spread
purified Islam through the world, both Muslim and non-Muslim", only
making up 0.5% of the global Muslim population (source: Wikipedia). There is a lot of diversity in
Muslim doctrine (just like there are many branches of Christianity), from the
most fundamentalist to the most progressive, and from decidedly violent to
completely non-violent.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Finally, I think such talk about Islam goes against the teachings of Jesus. Equating the whole of Islam with violent fundamentalism is a narrative</span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"> that, sadly, </span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"> I
have heard in some churches. In fact, I used to believe it… It presents Islam
as a frightful threat, and Muslims as would-be invaders who want to take over
the world, by violent means if necessary. As I’ve outline above, not only is it untrue,
but it also has a perverse effect. It instils fears and therefore hostility
within the hearts of Christians. How can we be effective witnesses of Christ if
we feel fear and hostility towards a whole group of people? How can we <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22:36-40&version=NIV" target="_blank">love them as ourselves</a> if we see them as dangerous enemies? Some Christians’ fear of
Muslims is already turning to hatred, and politicians are using it to their
advantage. Instead of welcoming the stranger <a href="https://www.facebook.com/notes/kit-sune/judeo-christian-values/10155076494276554" target="_blank">as the Bible commands</a>, many
self-professing Christians openly reject them and even claim the need to
protect ‘Christendom’ from the ‘Muslim invasion’, by force if necessary… while
Christ teaches us that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2018:35-37&version=NIV" target="_blank">His Kingdom is not of this world anyway</a>.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">When confronted to a teaching in church, I try to look at the
<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7%3A15-20&version=NIV" target="_blank">fruit that teaching produces</a>. Does
it bring <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5%3A22-23&version=NIV" target="_blank">love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness</a>?
Or does it instil fear, hatred, selfishness, conflict and discord? Ask yourself this.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></span></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgLYsOgzR7Bud6TR-pQCDZHbCI72SeYIPh3AP4ly2Xc-WakbI_LmhhpDTlcBO8PliBFoAp7fH83jp0E_0kb8Z4QfuJI6FmD4mp2JJqcqCwQLcyN6lt_Do94vWvIgmS5Q3TKTaGlExc78Wy/s1600/963ac53726.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgLYsOgzR7Bud6TR-pQCDZHbCI72SeYIPh3AP4ly2Xc-WakbI_LmhhpDTlcBO8PliBFoAp7fH83jp0E_0kb8Z4QfuJI6FmD4mp2JJqcqCwQLcyN6lt_Do94vWvIgmS5Q3TKTaGlExc78Wy/s320/963ac53726.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I know it’s a week into 2017 already, a little late to write out resolutions. But there are still 358 days to go, so I figure I’m good. I wanted to think carefully about what I would like to achieve this year, and how. Resolutions can be so vague that it makes it all the harder to keep them, because we don’t even know where the heck to start. For this reason, I wanted to reflect upon my priorities, upon the values I would like to cultivate in 2017, and the goals I would like to achieve.</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As a Christian, my #1 goal is to become more and more like Jesus. I’m not afraid to say it and I’m couldn’t care less if it makes me sound like a religious nutter. To me, it’s not about being a religious nut, but about bearing spiritual fruit (I didn’t come up with that one, but I think it's a great phrase).</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">To become more like Jesus, I mean to study his life and character more closely than ever. So I have decided not only to read through the gospels again, but also to read (or read again) books that help me know Jesus more and better. I am currently reading NT Wright’s “The Day The Revolution Began: Rethinking the Meaning of Jesus’ Crucifixion”. I will read others, too : Philip Yancey, CS Lewis, Stanley Hauerwas and Rachel Held Evans are on my to-read list.</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The issue with sticking to this is that I get distracted easily. And guess what it my main distraction: the Internet. I spend a lot of time on social media. I do not intend to take extreme measures, however, as the Internet is a valuable tool, and social media enables me to keep in touch with loved ones who live far away.</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am going to have a day off the internet, every week. It will benefit me in lots of ways. Whenever I want to sit down and concentrate on something, I always think, “Hang on, let me check what’s going on on Facebook first”. If I give myself a day off a week, I will be able to answer myself back, “Today is your day off, girl. You can always catch up with the world tomorrow.”</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I intend to study Jesus’ life and character, but there are already numerous things I know about him, so I would like to emulate the aspects of his personality I alread know. Jesus preached non-violence (Matthew 5:5, 9:38-42) and taught us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48). His Kingdom is one where there will be justice and the oppressed will be defended (Matthew 5:6, 7, 10; Matthew 25:34-40, Luke 4:18-21). He told us we were to be recognisable by our love for one another (John 13:34-35). I’m going to try and cultivate those attitudes and actions, through specific courses (I am going to register for a course on non-violent social action and I am going to complete an online Amnesty International course about the rights of refugees). I also want to pray for my enemies - for people I don’t like.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In order to reach my goals, here are my resolutions:</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1. Every Sunday, I will keep off the internet. My laptop will be closed. I will read instead from the New Testament and from Christian authors. </span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2. I will pray for loved ones every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes.</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">3. I will write to, make a call to or visit someone every week.</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">4. Every Friday, I will spend some time praying for people I dislike.</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">5. I will enrol for the peaceful social action course and attend it; and I will complete the Amnesty International course about the rights of refugees. I will set aside half a day every week to work on the Amnesty course. The day I set aside will depend on my work schedule (it’s different every week) as I will need to be at home to do this, obviously.</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">6. Every time I want to curse someone (be it a driver who cuts me off, an internet troll or some politicians whose views I abhor), I will say a quick prayer for them.</span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="_2cuy _3dgx _2vxa">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Have a wonderful 2017. Be the change you want to see. Be kind to yourself and to others. Plant flowers; plant hope. Cultivate joy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-84648294947244036432016-11-09T20:59:00.001+01:002016-11-09T21:24:57.706+01:00If I am not part of the solution, I am part of the problem.<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When Trump first announced he was running as a candidate for the Republican party, I dismissed it as a joke. Then, as months passed, mockery gave way to disbelief, then to anger, frustration and indignation. How could such racism, bigotry, and misoginy appeal to so many people? How could someone whose speeches had no substance and no content convince voters? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid0sYom9sMjFJiN0qMO8C1iu7dBQfxGFhbsFpYLPosElnFK8pQESPjNG8uxTJBxnbk0FzVT0ELxH87gZzWeyA46rOnHn1AWkdGdhyphenhyphenXnZq46Ki2HE-_74DYCbXAztuEf70AJ4AatItz-OGH/s1600/WorkingClass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid0sYom9sMjFJiN0qMO8C1iu7dBQfxGFhbsFpYLPosElnFK8pQESPjNG8uxTJBxnbk0FzVT0ELxH87gZzWeyA46rOnHn1AWkdGdhyphenhyphenXnZq46Ki2HE-_74DYCbXAztuEf70AJ4AatItz-OGH/s320/WorkingClass.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I cried and shouted and poured contempt on Trump supporters, and on all
those who supported fascist politicians. I despised them for their
perceived stupidity and bigotry and for their hatred. I felt proud
that I was "not like them" (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+18:9-14&version=NIV" target="_blank">Parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector</a>, anyone?).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Tonight, I read <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/nov/03/trump-supporters-us-elections?CMP=fb_gu" target="_blank">this article</a>, and it dawned on me that like any other story, it's not all simple; it's not all black and white. It's n<span class="text_exposed_show">ot
just stubborn Fundies. It's also people who have been left behind by an
elitist system, and felt more support was given to minorities than to
them. And they have been deceived into believing Trump will fix that.
(Or that a fascist European politician will fix that.)</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="text_exposed_show">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
And suddenly it dawned on me. I cannot humilate them into changing their
minds. I cannot bully them into behaving like decent human beings. I
cannot even try to "educate" them because by doing this, I am only
arrogantly putting myself above them. Humiliating and despising them
will only reinforce the problem. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The only helpful, Jesus-like
thing I can do is the same thing I have been doing for Muslims in my
centre for asylum seekers, despite my initial fears and misgivings about Muslims: love them. Reach out to them. Listen to them. Seek to understand them. Show them empathy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So this is where I want to start. Holy Spirit, enable me, because I cannot do this on my own. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I want to follow Jesus, and I foolishly believe love will save the world. You may tell me I am a fucking fool. You're most probably right.</span></div>
Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-67401137034408248382016-08-17T13:53:00.000+02:002017-03-09T11:55:51.918+01:00Why I am not a Muslim, and why I love Muslims regardless<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is a lot of negative talk about Muslims, and many people are hostile to Islam because of terrorism. I have written about this issue<a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/11/walking-on-in-midst-of-chaos.html" target="_blank"> time </a><a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/11/a-message-to-all-muslims.html" target="_blank">and</a> <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2016/03/let-us-fight-terrorism.html" target="_blank">again</a>. Indeed, I feel upset, sad and angry when people demonize all Muslims because of
Daesh. The vast majority of Muslims are peaceful people who are
appalled by terrorism and Daesh just as we are, and the majority of
Daesh victims are actually Muslims. I also deplore the fact that whenever someone commits a crime and is of Muslim background, the media is quick to highlight it, whereas they seldom mention origin when someone from a "White, Christian" background is the culprit.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">I have no personal issue with Muslims. I have Muslim colleagues and I work within a predominantly Muslim environment (a majority of the asylum seekers currently staying in our Red Cross centre identify as Muslims). I love working with them.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Lately, I had a conversation around faith with a Muslim friend. When I said I was a believer, he said to me, "If you were a true believer, wouldn't you accept the Word of the Prophet Mohammed, as he was foretold in the Bible?" </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">This is interesting, because looking into Islam, ironically, played a part in my <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/09/the-day-i-set-off.html" target="_blank">choosing the Christian faith</a>:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">"I met a Muslim. We discussed God and religion, and I read some booklets
about Islam. As a result, some of my beliefs were challenged.
Indeed, I had always thought that all religions all led to God. However,
in Islam you had to obey lots of rules and
do good deeds, and then maybe, if you were found good enough, God would
accept you. On the other hand, I was being told in Church that as a
sinner, there was nothing I could do to make myself acceptable to a
perfect, absolutely good God, and that all I could do was accept what
Jesus had done for me and commit my life to
Him. That wasn’t the same thing at all – one belief system told me I
had to work hard to deserve God’s acceptance, and the other told me
there was nothing I could do and nothing I needed to do, because God had
already done it all for me… all I had to do was receive His gift.</span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">
</span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I was extremely confused. I could see both
beliefs couldn’t be true at the same time, because in all logic they
were self-excluding. But I had no idea which one was right. Both seemed
to make sense. I knew I had to choose one or the other, and I did want
to please God and do what He required, but I simply didn’t know which
way was the right one.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoBodyText2">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">I was more
attracted to Islam because it fitted my views about God and religion:
God wanted us to obey a certain set of rules and be
good, and when we'd die He would weigh our good and bad deeds on a
pair of scales and see which way it tipped. But I could not dismiss
Christianity, because it could make
sense too."</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><br />I am not going to get into why I don't believe the Bible foretold Mohammed; many C<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">hristian<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> the<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ologians have done i<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">t</span> much b<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">etter than I <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">could. <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am just going to explain why, personally, I cannot embrace the Muslim faith<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">: because of Jesus. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody">Muslim doctrine denies core
elements of my faith. <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It</span> denies the divinity of Jesus,
while believing he really was God incarnate is crucial to my faith: God
to me is not abstract and aloof, he is close to us. He got his hands
dirty. He shared in the messiness of humanity. He knows our struggles
because he's lived through them. I would go as far as to say that God
LEARNT from the incarnation: instead of an "academic" knowledge of the
human experience, he knows because he experienced it personally, which
makes him able to fully empathize with us. As far as I know, this is
absent from Islam. Second, Muslim doctrine denies Jesus's death. To them
Jesus never died: God subsituted him for someone else and gave that
other someone the appearance of Jesus. First, why the trickery? Why would God deceive us? Second,
Jesus' death and resurrection is crucial to my faith. They bring me
redemption and hope. Whatever your theory of atonement is, Jesus had to
die, if only to fully identify with us in our humanity. His death reconciled us with God - he took our sins upon himself so we could be free of that burden, freed to do good instead. And if he didn't
die, neither did he rise - and then where is the hope of our own
resurrection? Jesus's incarnation, life, death and resurrection bring me
a hope and peace that I have not found in Islam (I have read Muslim booklets explaining the faith, booklets designed to win over converts, as well as several passages from translations of the Holy Quran). This is why I am not a Muslim.<br /><br />This
being said, I have no personal problems with Muslim people. They are my
human brothers and sisters, created by God and loved by God. He knows
their hearts and I do not, so I cannot presume to know whether they are
"saved" or not (whatever that means). I can only follow Jesus' command
to love them. I work among Muslims every day at the center for asylum
seekers. They are humans. They can be kind, loving, funny, rude, angry,
hospitable, touching, humble, proud, they can be peaceful and they can
be violent. They are human brothers and sisters, not better than us and
not worse, either.<br /><br />Finally, I think as Christians, we can learn
from the devotion to God we see in Islam. Who among us prays 5 times a
day? I know I don't. Who fasts from sunrise till sunset for 40 days? I
know I don't. Who learns verses of the Holy Scripture by heart in order
to be closer to God? I know I don't. So I have a lot of respect for my
Muslim brothers and sisters.</span></span></span><br />
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-72079784707075640962016-07-26T20:42:00.001+02:002016-07-26T23:30:03.122+02:00A time of violence and grief<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="8bsp-1-0"><span data-text="true">I just switched on the news, and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jul/26/men-hostages-french-church-police-normandy-saint-etienne-du-rouvray" target="_blank">there it was</a>. Another attack from "jihadists", this time targeting a church and murdering a priest. Violence goes on and on (and if we take off our Western-centered glasses for a second, we'll realise <a href="http://www.christianpost.com/news/isis-terror-attacks-leave-23-dead-iraqs-capital-baghdad-166949/" target="_blank">such attacks</a> <a href="http://www.albawaba.com/news/daesh-reportedly-executes-least-dozen-ethiopian-christians-libya-839652" target="_blank">on Christians</a> <a href="http://en.alalam.ir/news/1676783" target="_blank">is nothing new at all</a>).</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I feel like my arms and legs have been cut off.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="8bsp-1-0"><span data-text="true">I want to believe in love, peace, and this crazy idea that we can all live together as the human brothers and sisters that we are. Yet, such horrendous acts scream at me that it cannot be. That humans are always going to tear each other apart. That I'd better give up on hope and love and peace. That I should be afraid of Muslims - afraid of the men and women and children I look after at the centre for asylum seekers and of the many other Muslims who live in my country. That I should hide away from them, be wary of them, push them out of my life and even out of my country. Just in case.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="8bsp-1-0"><span data-text="true">I don't want to listen to the screams of terrorism. I don't want to stop loving the people I work with. I don't want terrorism to colour my dealings with the Muslims I come across.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="8bsp-1-0"><span data-text="true">Let us not forget that Daesh <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/munzeralawad/syrian-refugees-in-france-say-paris-terror-is-the-terror-the?utm_term=.nwpewbq9L#.rs8dNzpk9" target="_blank">aims to divide us</a>, to create a rift between Muslims and the Western world. Let us not allow them to create that rift. Let us not allow them to divide us. I have said it before and I will say it again: the majority of Muslims are as appalled as we are. Besides, in Daesh-controlled territories, they are targeted too. Blaming Muslims and rejecting them will only create more tension, more hatred, and more potential terrorists. This is why I want to l<a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/11/a-message-to-all-muslims.html" target="_blank">ove Muslims and offer them my friendship</a>: because I believe this is the only way we can resist a spiral of hatred and violence. To me, this <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2016/03/let-us-fight-terrorism.html" target="_blank">is the only sustainable weapon we have against terrorism</a>.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="8bsp-1-0"><span data-text="true">If you are grieving for Father Jacques Hamel, do not forget what he stood for: he was a Christian, he believed in Jesus Christ. And Jesus Christ asked us to love our enemie and pray for them. Is it hard? Yes, it is. It is hard, painful, heart-wrenching, and dangerous. But this is what Jesus asks, and this is what Jesus did. He was brutally murdered, yet he prayed for his murderers. Jesus <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+5%3A7-10&version=NIV" target="_blank">gave his life out of love for his enemies</a>.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="8bsp-1-0"><span data-text="true">If you are a Christian, don't forget this: we are supposed to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205:43-48" target="_blank">fight hate with love, persecution with prayer</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A17-21&version=NIV" target="_blank">evil with good</a>. And if you are not a Christian, remember all that Father Jacques Hamel stood for, all he believed in. He would not want you to respond with hatred and vengeance.</span></span></span><br />
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<span data-offset-key="8bsp-1-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span>Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-63485261784798559882016-07-07T21:27:00.001+02:002016-07-07T22:20:25.732+02:00Climb every mountain<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Every year, Nicholas and I go to the French Alps for a couple of weeks. Nicholas cycles up the "cols" (mountain passes) that the Tour de France often goes through, and I hike in the mountains.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first year, we went to the Col Agnel (Lamb's Pass), which marks the border with Italy. Looming above that pass is a 10,525-feet-high slate summit called le Pain de Sucre (the Sugar <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">L</span>oaf). It is a popular hike as you can enjoy a 360°-view from the top, allowing you to see Italian 12,602-feet-high Mount Viso, the beautiful Barre des Ecrins (Jewellery Case Range), and even the Mont Blanc on a clear day. I felt fascinated but I didn't have proper mountain hiking shoes back then, and decided not to risk it as the slope was very steep. I vowed to go the following year.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhekjzSnUriff_aeH9ei_-8nkEuxUdXQS74x_7AJnIilSRKNtc41lz7JdlXLr0NrSnQ4z3pGDZ7hhSLrscNsuYlVHe4rY2qxFECMrr7LoZe7rV8VxYdtGIGl6cxQ-Cr5H_pin4RUcgwcb0y/s1600/PaindeSucre.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhekjzSnUriff_aeH9ei_-8nkEuxUdXQS74x_7AJnIilSRKNtc41lz7JdlXLr0NrSnQ4z3pGDZ7hhSLrscNsuYlVHe4rY2qxFECMrr7LoZe7rV8VxYdtGIGl6cxQ-Cr5H_pin4RUcgwcb0y/s320/PaindeSucre.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alas, the following year, I sprained my foot on a ridiculously easy hike and had to stick to easy walks <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">using <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">hiking poles</span></span> after th<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">at</span>. And the next year, the Sugar Loaf was shrouded in clouds every time we up there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So today, finally, I set off to hike up the Sugar Loaf. I had my good mountain shoes, a windproof jacket, and some food and water in my backpack. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I had been walking for hardly half an hour when I noticed something moving up the slope. I squinted to see and realised they were six ibex (bouquetins) feeding. Unfortunately, my camera doesn't have a very g<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ood</span> zoom, but here you can just about make them out.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlh-mdFtISnZ0RLjeedGBL01I5JSIv0ng5t-ayOI9SNC5z-K_LsbEIYNtuXs1kbLtfnKTcxHCfVzfIIkqqoj7tUwg2rErZw4JZEjtY0ssYLmC5Bs5-aP_0Yy4aPhGCA3BLIpzs7eKr5Wga/s1600/bouquetin1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlh-mdFtISnZ0RLjeedGBL01I5JSIv0ng5t-ayOI9SNC5z-K_LsbEIYNtuXs1kbLtfnKTcxHCfVzfIIkqqoj7tUwg2rErZw4JZEjtY0ssYLmC5Bs5-aP_0Yy4aPhGCA3BLIpzs7eKr5Wga/s320/bouquetin1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I kept going up an easy track on the grassy slopes until I reached the Col Vieux (Old Pass), a mountain pass you can only reach on foot, as opposed to those you ride or cycle up, like Nicholas does. From there, the pa<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">th</span> got steeper and steeper. This doesn't necessarily bother me, when it means climbing amongst rocks you can hold on to. But this path was winding up in slate dust and stones that looked rather slippery, on a very steep rock face with a rather scary drop. And I had no hiking poles. Soon enough I felt utterly stuck.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fortunately, a couple of fellow hikers passed by and I could ask for help. The man was very kind and reassuring and guided me along the path, and lent me his poles. His name was Jérémy, and his partner was Marguerite.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Reaching the top was breathtaking, and I don't think photos truly do it justice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Mount Viso</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We started the descent, which, paradoxically, was much easier as we took a different path that took us through some rocks we could support ourselves on. I was very grateful to those hikers for their help.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fulfilling my dream of climbing up the Sugar Loaf leaves me with mixed feelings. I'm happy I did it, but I'm somewhat angry at myself for not realising how tricky the climb would be, and for not preparing accordingly. I feel I was careless, and put my life in danger. I don't know what I'd have done without those fellow hikers, and I'm grateful they helped me.</span><br />
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<br />Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-86407001465320226832016-05-02T11:04:00.001+02:002016-05-23T08:37:11.626+02:00The Bible, homosexuality, and abomination<div data-contents="true">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="d9e55-0-0"><span data-text="true">Last summer, I described how <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/06/coming-out-and-standing-against-evil.html" target="_blank">my beliefs about homosexuality had changed</a> over time.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="d9e55-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="9clep-0-0"><span data-text="true">In Biblical
times, the main purpose of couples was to produce offspring to ensure
the continuity of the family line and the perennity of the group. If any
people felt love and attraction towards the same sex, they probably
weren't encouraged to form a lasting bond, as it would have been of
little social use. </span></span>Much more visible, however, would have
been the sexual abuse of young boys - and therefore, it would have been
vigorously condemned by anyone with a strong sense of morality. So, if
Bible authors were familiar with abusive homosexual behaviour, but not
with committed, faithful same-sex relationships, they would have called
it wrong and immoral. This notion has been brought forward before by
scholars and Christian LGBT advocates, and they've argued the case much
more convincingly than I can. But recently, something unexpected came to
support this theory for me.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="d9e55-0-0"><span data-text="true">I never thought that working in a centre for asylum seekers would help me better grasp the issue of homosexuality, and why it seems, on the surface, to be so adamantly condemned in Scripture. Yet, meeting people from different cultures throws a very interesting light on the morality of this issue.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span data-offset-key="9clep-0-0"><span data-text="true">In our center, we have been holding discussion panels about life in Belgium, and mentioning things such as gender equality, freedom of religion, and LGBT rights. The question of gay marriage got a variety of responses. Many people, including those coming from a Muslim background, were very matter-of-fact about it, saying that we all need to respect the life choices of other people. Some people from Africa got their Bibles out and emphatically argued that homosexuality was inherently sinful. </span></span></span><br />
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<span data-offset-key="9clep-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But what I found particularly interesting was this: many of our residents from Afghanistan or Iraq, when confronted to Western acceptance of homosexuality, state dryly that there <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">i</span>s no such thing in their country. Some Afghans even protested, "Pedophilia is illegal where we come from!". Aghast that they would make such a comparison, I dug further. They explained to me that in Afghanistan, there is no such thing as two men loving each other the way a man and his wife do (or at least, they're not aware of it). What they have often witnessed, however, is the abuse of young boys by older men, not only back home, but also during their journey to Europe. Hence the way they recoil from the very mention of homosexuality, and the way they were quick to state that such things were illegal. Of course, we explained to them that pedophilia is illegal (and immoral) in Europe too, and that being attracted to someone of the same sex is totally different from child abuse. But I find their comments and reactions very enlightening. If the only type of homosexual relationship you'd ever witnessed was one of abuse and control, <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">driven</span> by lust and the desire to overpower the other person, rather than committed, loving relationships, you'd find the practice despicable, no doubt. You would be very likely to call it... an abomination. Wouldn't you?</span></span></span></div>
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-72527149328144894332016-03-27T19:46:00.001+02:002016-03-27T19:46:31.461+02:00"What did Jesus’s death change?"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I often go and visit my Grandma. She was raised a
Catholic, but lately she has come to question both the teachings she received,
and her own faith. We often have long conversations about it together. Last time we met, she asked me this:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">“What did Jesus’ death change, exactly? People still kill
each other. There are still wars, there is still suffering. So what did his
death achieve?”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">This is both a simple question, and a deep, rich
theological one; one that is not easily answered. But I keep thinking about it
since she’s asked me, and about what Jesus’ death means to me.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Something strikes me: not only did
Jesus know it he was going to get himself killed, not only did he do nothing to
prevent it, but he talks like it’s all part of a plan. He meant to die. If this
is the case, his death must have had a purpose.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Jesus is well-known for the Beatitudes, which give an
idea of happiness that runs contrary to the way things work in the world:
blessed are the poor… the meek… the merciful. This rings beautiful, but not
quite true, does it? The poor suffer, the meek see their right denied, and the
merciful are taken advantage of. Those who assert their rights and forcibly
take what they want seem to be the ultimate winners. Harder still, Jesus said
we should love our enemies, pray for those who harm us, and not resist evil
people.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Ad he certainly lived by those words. As I said in
<a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2016/03/tonight-i-remember.html" target="_blank">Friday’s post</a>, he came to serve; and when he was arrested, not only did he not
resist, but he rebuked those who wanted to defend him. He lived out his teachings to the very end. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Jesus’ death demonstrates <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/10/why-do-i-believe.html" target="_blank">the depth of God’s love</a>. If you
believe, <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/07/i-will-follow.html" target="_blank">like I do</a>, that Jesus is God made flesh, then his death is the
ultimate sacrifice of love – giving his very life to us. Some people are
willing to die for a cause (or even to kill). God certainly doesn’t kill for a
cause, and he doesn’t die for one, either: he dies for <i>people</i>. He dies for<i>
us</i>. As <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+5%3A6-8&version=NLT" target="_blank">St Paul puts it</a>, one could possibly die for a good
person; but God loves us so much he died for us even though we turn our backs
on him and on everything good. He shows us how far he is willing to go in his
love for us. He demonstrates that God and humanity don’t have to be enemies.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Scripture indicates that sin (the evil inclination to
look after our own interests at the expense of everyone else) causes alienation.
It separates us from God, it causes conflict between us and within us, and it
separates us from nature as we damage and destroy it. Jesus takes
humanity’s sin upon himself in all its ugliness and horror (and fully identifies with our humanity, even though he never sinned).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By doing so, he sets us free from the
dominion of evil. This is redemption: not only are we forgiven for our wrongdoings, but we are free to serve good instead of evil.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">However, as my Grandma pointed out, evil still seems to have the
upper hand in our world. I think part of the answer lies in the fact that redemption starts
in individual hearts. Jesus frees us, individually, from the grip selfishness
and evil have on us, so we can strive to do good instead, and be his co-workers
to transform the world – to redeem it. But he doesn’t force himself on anyone.
If we choose to remain in sin, selfishness and hatred, he will not force his
love on us. It is ours to accept – or reject. And as long as people reject love and goodness, there will be evil in the world.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Yet the story is not complete if we stop at Jesus’ death,
and we cannot fully apprehend the meaning of it if we don’t take into account
what came next.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Death is the ultimate alienation, isn’t it? When one is
dead, one is no longer able to have a relationship with anyone – not with God,
not with others, and not with the world. Death is presented by the Bible writers as the final consequence of sin. But what if Jesus defeated death?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">His early followers claimed that the tomb was empty, and
that they saw Jesus again – alive. If this is true, then he truly has defeated
death. He has shown us that his death indeed changed something: he has reversed
the very power of death. He claimed that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+11%3A25&version=NLT" target="_blank">whoever believes in him will live, even if they die</a>… His resurrection demonstrates that this wasn’t an empty
claim.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Jesus’ resurrection also gives us hope of a life to come,
not just for us individually, but for the world. Today, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8%3A19-25&version=NIV" target="_blank">as St Paul said</a>, the whole world is suffering in birth pains – but this means new
life is coming. The work is in progress, but one day it will be completed. This
is our hope and our faith. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;">I</span><span class="text"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">n this hope we were saved. But hope that is
seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> <span class="text">But if we hope for
what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.</span></span></i><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN;"></span><span class="text"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #141823; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: FR-BE;">In this dark world, it's not only because I
believe in Jesus' life that I have hope: it's because I believe in his
resurrection, and thus, I believe he has defeated death and evil.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG1G2g-pKYonK1Q6fd32SCgCv9BQANJXBJksn-tJWUNsPkx43T3L57WkBnZGm09DRFNJEFVV_UwMblYE7z_uT_YKQL2Fa9G-thrRSwZDagrJ_f-W6_lovh6jzjKCR7kNaz4aPxM3JpLQSY/s1600/001-jesus-questions-peter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG1G2g-pKYonK1Q6fd32SCgCv9BQANJXBJksn-tJWUNsPkx43T3L57WkBnZGm09DRFNJEFVV_UwMblYE7z_uT_YKQL2Fa9G-thrRSwZDagrJ_f-W6_lovh6jzjKCR7kNaz4aPxM3JpLQSY/s320/001-jesus-questions-peter.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-44674330146131780462016-03-25T20:34:00.000+01:002016-03-25T20:34:25.113+01:00Tonight, I remember<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Tonight is not about me, or us, or about terrorism.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Tonight is about absolute love. Tonight is about Jesus of Nazareth. Tonight is about the God who comes down to earth to live, suffer and die with and for us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Jesus' disciples believed he was the Messiah, a King sent by God who would bring about peace and justice. Yet, he didn't come on a war horse. He didn't come to conquer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He came to serve. He gave his time and attention to the poor, the sick, the needy; to women and children. He spent time with the despised, the lowly, the "sinners". He washed his friends' feet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And then, he gave his life. He talked about loving enemies and not resisting an evil person - and when they came to arrest him, he did not resist. In fact, he rebuked his friends when they tried to defend him using violence. He was tried unfairly, condemned unjustly. And he died.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He died because he loved us. He died, as he said, as a ransom: his death redeems us. To redeem means "to buy back". You redeem a slave to buy his freedom. Jesus, through his death, redeemed us from evil to buy our freedom, so we could belong to good instead of evil. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Tonight is about the One who loved us enough to suffer and die for us. Tonight I will forget about the world and its strife, and remember Jesus, who overcame evil with good, overcame hate with love, overcame, incredibly, through his death.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIZlH5WlN4CuYzx1v2K0YQPQ-T1Dgaz1KRkIhgDFYoORWoli-Ltw_j2L9qj0OidoVGkRhczN57mJluEgj5gCZoBLvJjf8o2xbU2ffCHGanTtU8nbjaXiqq2DZUyUgqnjgd46irh11F1WZD/s1600/006-jesus-washes-feet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIZlH5WlN4CuYzx1v2K0YQPQ-T1Dgaz1KRkIhgDFYoORWoli-Ltw_j2L9qj0OidoVGkRhczN57mJluEgj5gCZoBLvJjf8o2xbU2ffCHGanTtU8nbjaXiqq2DZUyUgqnjgd46irh11F1WZD/s320/006-jesus-washes-feet.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-12869068081451083312016-03-25T11:21:00.001+01:002016-03-25T11:37:36.666+01:00Let us fight terrorism<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">22 March 2016. I<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was </span>having breakfast when I heard the news. Terrorists ha<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">d</span> struck Brussels. <a href="https://www.rtbf.be/info/dossier/explosions-a-brussels-airport/detail_attentats-ce-que-l-on-sait-a-l-heure-actuelle?id=9248508" target="_blank"></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I felt immense grief. My heart went out to victims and their families. I have no idea how such pain and terror must feel.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All the same, I remember that this pain and terror is part of daily life for millions of human beings in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan or Yemen. My heart grieves for those suffering every day all around the world. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I feel overwhelmed by the same fear and grief than <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/11/walking-on-in-midst-of-chaos.html" target="_blank">after the Paris attacks</a>: fear for Muslims, as Daesh tries to <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/munzeralawad/syrian-refugees-in-france-say-paris-terror-is-the-terror-the?utm_term=.vwlaE24ap#.gnWk7rmkY" target="_blank">create a rift </a>between them and the rest of the Western population. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null">Just as I did in November, I refuse to be consumed by fear, hostility and hate, and more than ever, I stand by my decision to love <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/11/a-message-to-all-muslims.html" target="_blank">my Muslim brothers and sisters </a></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null"> and to <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2016/03/salah-prayer.html" target="_blank">pray for my enemies</a>. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null">I choose love. I choose to fight terrorism in my own way. Would you join me? </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null">Terrorism, by its very definition, aims to terrorize us, and, in the more specific case of Daesh, to drive us apart from each other through fear, hostility, hate and rejection. If we're scared, the terrorists have won. And if we are overcome by fear and hatred for those who are Muslims, for refugees and strangers, they have won, too. So here is my plan to fight terrorists:</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. Let's not give into fear. Let's not allow them ruin our lives. We will all die, my friends, but, contrary to people in the Middle East, we are very unlikely to die in a terrorist attack. So let's not be afraid to go out, travel, go to big cities such as Brussels, Paris or London. Let's carry on with our lives and enjoy our freedom. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. Let's not give in to hatred. Let's reach out to the other, the stranger. Let's welcome everyone without prejudice, whatever their nationality, ethnicity, religion; whether they have been living among us for decades or whether they have just arrived as immigrants. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. Let's build relationships. If we have friends who are from another culture (even - gasp! - Muslims), let's spend time with them, deepen our friendship. Let's ask them about their culture, their passions, their values. We live in a multicultural society: they are among us. They're our neighbours, our colleagues, our local shopkeepers. They sit next to us on public transport. So if we don't know them, let's get to know them! Let's say hello; let's invite them for coffee, for a meal or for a movie. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4.
Let's get informed. Let's not believe everything we see in the media (especially social media). Let's check information - check sources. Let's read serious articles and books about issues that concern us. Let's talk to people who are insiders and know their stuff: ask Muslims about their faith. If we want to know about refugees, let's ask the refugees and people who work with them (ask me about my work! I love to talk about it. What would you like to know?).</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5. Let's celebrate diversity - the human race is made up of so many beautifully different people!</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6. If we are believers, let's pray. Let's pray for peace, for love, and for unity; let's pray for compassion and mutual understanding. Let's pray for God's Kingdom to come - the Kingdom of reconciliation that Jesus came to bring.</span> </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2XtZWDxm2x2rMK1xhN1UkXDIUsl5cKQ_Xi1D6C6BNmRx3Uy3_i_kQ5ahK6cWm4vZGkn6o6Djt7cBa5G3qHQ0zW5G5N0GhoYLM5lTsvlzeaBFJd264j0HPJXyGY9IRICf8ik1Qqlw_tcJ5/s1600/524486_10150983005268040_1983344855_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2XtZWDxm2x2rMK1xhN1UkXDIUsl5cKQ_Xi1D6C6BNmRx3Uy3_i_kQ5ahK6cWm4vZGkn6o6Djt7cBa5G3qHQ0zW5G5N0GhoYLM5lTsvlzeaBFJd264j0HPJXyGY9IRICf8ik1Qqlw_tcJ5/s320/524486_10150983005268040_1983344855_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="null">I love this picture of my two friends, Lexi and Sara, because to me it represents friendship beyond our differences. My hope and prayer is that events such as the Paris and Brussels attacks will bring people together, not drive them apart.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span class="null"></span></b></span><span class="st"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></i></span>Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-69236512549227625912016-03-20T14:52:00.000+01:002016-03-20T14:52:33.074+01:00Salah: prayer.<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>On Friday, <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/mar/19/paris-attacker-salah-abdeslam-was-supposed-to-blow-himself-up" target="_blank">Salah Abdeslam</a>, one of the terrorists responsible for the
Paris attacks, was arrested in Brussels. He had been on the run for several months.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPeOp4E6HQ4vb84Pjm-JcOP95V5rd1ll5Z2jml1ZerHKrE_fahrsSy66utyZuHJwG0cLDG4FiN4upDQogTYST4b2ukkoB6gWZZZhqB1ZEHy4G6lapV0pKRUFM0Nj6CTObObhkwzfZCohLr/s1600/salahparis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPeOp4E6HQ4vb84Pjm-JcOP95V5rd1ll5Z2jml1ZerHKrE_fahrsSy66utyZuHJwG0cLDG4FiN4upDQogTYST4b2ukkoB6gWZZZhqB1ZEHy4G6lapV0pKRUFM0Nj6CTObObhkwzfZCohLr/s320/salahparis.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>When I heard he had been captured, I felt relief - relief that a dangerous individual is now in the hands of the police, and is no longer a threat. My heart goes out to all those who have lost loved ones in the attacks. </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>I am glad that justice will be done and that Salah will be held accountable for what he did.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>However, I have no urge for violent retaliation towards him. First, because I don't want to sink down to hatred and violence. Then, because I have that crazy notion that he is not all that different from me: Salah Abdeslam is a human being.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>It reminds me of the <a href="http://jchelseaw.tumblr.com/post/39643026376/lauriejuspeczyk-221becquerel" target="_blank">post about Hitler </a>holding a little girl's hand that floated around the internet a while ago. Here is an extract:</span></span></span></span><br />
<span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>"</span></span></span></span>Yeah. It’s fucking scary [the picture]. It really is. Do you know why?<br />
<br />
It’s because <em>you’re seeing that he wasn’t, in fact, a monster</em>. You’re seeing in this picture that<em> he was a man</em>. He was a man, and that’s really the saddest part of it all.<br />
<br />
[...] <em>The
number one mistake anyone could ever make in history is making the
assumption that only inhuman monsters are capable of doing terrible
things.</em> <br /><br />Stop dehumanizing Hitler just so you can reassure yourself that “normal” humans aren’t capable of doing bad things."<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is true of Hitler, and this is true of Salah Abdeslam. Evil is part of human nature. I am not saying it's a good thing at all - I am appalled and scared at the evil I see in human beings (including in myself). I am just saying that we should face up to this: as human beings, we are all capable of terrible evil. And sometimes, there are reasons why people fall into evil.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Before I go any further, let me be 100% clear: I do not condone terrorism and violence, and I grieve at destroyed lives. I do not seek excuses for those who engage in such acts. I am; however, willing to try and understand why they do.</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>If I had been born a
second- or third-generation Muslim immigrant, torn between two cultures;
if to
most white people I had never been anything but "the Arab", or even the "fucking Arab", if I had been denied job
opportunities on that ground alone... if I had felt despised and
rejected by the society in which I lived, and then someone had come along and told me, "Come, sister, you
will be respected and valued with us. You will be part of something great.
You will be a hero. Others will no understand why you do it, but you
will accomplish something great for God." Would I have believed it? Would I have been caught up in the lie and
violence? I hope not, but maybe I would have. I do not ask that we excuse them, only that we understand why
young people become violent radicals - and be willing to change our own
behaviour so we don't become part of the problem too.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I also believe that <i>all humans can change if they decide to do so</i>. No one has to remain a monster. More than that, I believe that in Jesus, the opportunity is given to everyone to turn themselves around ("repent") and receive God's transforming love. In fact, t</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>his is why I am strongly against the death penalty: when you
kill someone, you rob them of the chance to change and become a better
person, forever. </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>Salah was supposed to blow himself up but backed out. It could be
self-preservation kicking in, it could be something else. He may have
had second thoughts about killing other people. In any case, I am glad
he did not blow himself up. He is apparently cooperating with the
police, so I hope this will help further dismantle the terrorist network
he was a part of. I also hope he will feel genuine remorse
for his actions. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>You see, when I heard Salah Abdeslam had been arrested, the first thing that popped
into my head was to pray for him. Pray for a fair trial, pray that he
won't become the number one scapegoat of a much larger problem. And pray
that the grace of God may touch his heart and transform it for good,
somehow.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="UFICommentBody"><span>In Arabic, Salah means "prayer". And so I pray that this young man's life may be radically changed and become a true prayer - a testimony of a changed life.</span></span></span></span>Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-80437839775433112462016-03-13T13:15:00.000+01:002016-03-13T13:16:07.109+01:00Facebook baby<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"Dear Mum,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I turn 18 today. I am now, supposedly, an adult. From now on, I am considered capable of handling myself and responsible for my own actions. I can create my own life; I am a blank slate.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Except I am not. I already have 18 years of digital history attached to my persona. Granted, I have largely contributed to it in the last 8 years or so. But before that, Mum, it was your doing, and I had no say in the matter.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I understand how your heart glowed and beat with overwhelming joy as you first held me in your arms, a tiny, helpless, crumpled little creature. I understand you earnestly thought I was the most beautiful thing ever to behold, and that the world ought to see me and wonder. I understand your pride as I took my first steps, said my first word, drew my first scribble and rode my first bike. It's only natural you wanted to take pictures of all those precious moments so we could, as a family, treasure the memories in the years to come.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I even understand you needed to vent your frustration when I couldn't sleep, and when I took ages to be out of nappies (especially at night), and when I started talking back to you, when I wouldn't work in school, and when you thought my teacher was a bully.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But Mum, did you really need to post all of that online? </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The first 18 years of my life have been more recorded and documented than a scientific experiment, and been made as public as a reality show. Today, Mum, I feel my personal life and history are not my own: they're public property for everyone to see.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know you did it because you love me and because you're so, so proud of me. But did you ever stop to think how I'd feel about it later? </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Do you remember the embarrassement you felt when Grandma showed your baby pictures to a flock of cooing friends, or worst, to your first boyfriend? I feel that embarrassement multiplied by your 359 Facebook friends and your 874 Instagram followers. I have no privacy.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You were an adult when you registered on social media. You made a choice regarding your own privacy, and you chose to be present online. You chose what you would share. You had heard that anything you posted was no longer private, but public. You made that choice for yourself and there is nothing wrong with that because it was your own life, your own choice.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But Mum, you never asked my 3-hour-old self whether I wanted to be on Facebook.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">How do I handle my digital footprint now, the one I never chose to have?"</span></i><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-pdLWVqs6I4ySdbaCMHU0Cux2HjRyS5C9WnxCuzbkEycDhjGXwX8LEOqfoAHY1nyFMFPqZwSEhIItZuyETFhTqMVagaZPpoTRkoYDGXZzn2lmsdvrBMER-wmfzqGFhV-U5g2maWZzQ5Ww/s1600/golgotha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-pdLWVqs6I4ySdbaCMHU0Cux2HjRyS5C9WnxCuzbkEycDhjGXwX8LEOqfoAHY1nyFMFPqZwSEhIItZuyETFhTqMVagaZPpoTRkoYDGXZzn2lmsdvrBMER-wmfzqGFhV-U5g2maWZzQ5Ww/s320/golgotha.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6053565981552138799.post-33953153484130319202016-02-24T19:41:00.002+01:002019-01-28T13:42:25.118+01:00Battling depression, part one<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lately, I learnt that someone close to me is severely depressed. As their story unravelled, I felt both overwhelmed with empathy, because I have battled depression myself (as I <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/08/robin-williams-suicide-and-choice.html" target="_blank">mentioned</a> in a previous post), and with powerlessness, because I'm not sure how I can help. A friend of mine and fellow depression sufferer once asked me, "How did you get over it?" I suppose she was hoping for some trick, some tips on how to beat it. I wish there was a magic spell to make people better, but I don't know any.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I do know one thing, though: it helps to know that you're not alone, that other people know what you're going through. This is why I am writing this today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first time I remember suffering from depression <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">i</span>s as a teenager. I was a very lonely child, as I had huge difficulties relating to others because of my <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/06/asperwhat.html" target="_blank">Asperger's syndrome</a>. I was bullied because of my quirks, and I had no idea how to make things better for myself. I also had self-esteem issues. I cried a lot and felt misunderstood. It's around that time I started self-harming. At first, I would tear bits of skin from my fingertips with a needle. Then I started cutting with a pocket knife. Seeing the blood on my arm gave me an odd sense of relief, as if the mutilation matched the wounds that were tearing me inside. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One night, I tried to commit suicide by taking some pills. I was rushed to hospital. I remember my father telling me "We love you". I also remember telling my parents I was so screwed up I needed a psychiatrist. Unfortunately, the lady they took me to likely had no experience dealing with teens, and I stopped going after a while, claiming I was feeling better (which was false). At that time, I also promised my grandmother I would never try to kill myself again - a very important promise that may have saved my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I was 18, a few things helped me feel better. Thanks to my parents' support, <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2015/09/the-language-of-my-heart.html" target="_blank">I traveled to London to study English</a> for a year. That year was a turning point for me. First, because people had no expectations of my behaviour. At school, I had been the depressed girl who was always crying. In a vaguely conscious way, I felt trapped in that persona. In London, I could try and be someone different, someone happier. I made new friends, people who accepted me as I am. All of them were members of the church I went to, which links to the other important factor: <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/09/the-day-i-set-off.html" target="_blank">I became a Christian</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My faith helped me in different ways. The Christian idea that God forgives our sins lifted the burden of guilt off my heart. I was keenly aware of ways I had hurt my loved ones through my behaviour, and felt I did not deserve happiness. Believing I could be forgiven and start afresh was a huge step. However, there are two sides to that coin: the Christian doctrine of sin can add new and heavier burdens to one's soul... but I am getting ahead of myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Faith also gave me a sense of worth, and a purpose. I have worth as a child of God - I am loved beyond all measure, and my purpose is <a href="http://amifoxordancer.blogspot.be/2014/09/the-day-i-set-off.html" target="_blank">to have a relationship with God</a>. These basic beliefs still help me tremendously today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I still had regular bouts of anxiety and distress, though. I often cried and often felt lonely and at odds with other people.<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The battle was far from over. </span>Kit Sunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09161419052983228553noreply@blogger.com0