Losing my religion

This may come as a surprise to many of you, but I don't really do religion. 

As far as I can tell, religion is a "system" to get you into God's good books.

It can be rituals, sacraments, and ceremonies. Christen or baptize your baby to ensure he'll go to heaven - or be baptized yourself in order to validate your faith. Say a mass for a dead person to shorten their time in purgatory. Have your marriage sanctified by a minister to make it valid. Don't get me wrong here - I know symbols are important reminders, and that as humans, rituals help us through the various stages of life, but they can never replace deeper realities, nor make us acceptable to God.

For some, religion is a set of rules to abide to. One side of that coin is pride: because I follow those rules to the letters, I am a better person than others, and surely God loves me more. I become judgemental of anyone who doesn't follow those rules - and I end up rejecting certain categories of people. The other side of the coin is a huge burden of guilt, because no one is perfect. No one can strictly adhere to any moral standard. We all slip up, and when it happens, we feel crushed: surely now God no longer loves me. I am worthless.

It can be praying, singing, fasting, reading a holy book. It can be charity work. At the end of the day, though, it's fundamentally flawed: religions are trying to get God to do something. Magic uses the same premises: you can somehow manipulate the surnatural to your own ends. But if there is a God, surely he is no puppet. You cannot manipulate God into doing what you want through prayer or fasting or good works.

When you get to the bottom of things, religions are man-made. I do not think they are inherently good. Human beings need to take responsibilities for their own actions, and maybe atheism helps in that one cannot use religion as an excuse for being bigoted or intolerant when one is an atheist. 

Even the apostle Paul didn't put any value in religion:
 
If others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!
I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.
I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done.  Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage. - Philippians 3: 4-8

It's worth noting that the Greek word politely translated as "garbage" or "rubbish" in most English versions actually means "dung" or "excrement", and may have been as offensive as the English word "shit".

So basically... the Apostle Paul says religion is shit.

You see, faith is very different from religion. Deep faith is about relationship, not about religion. I believe God is a person we can somehow relate to. I could not love or respect a God who has to be placated through rituals and sacrifices and self-loathing. But that is not the God I believe in. I believe in a God who got his hands dirty. I believe he made himself man. He went through what we go through and made himself approachable. I would even go as far as to say that God learnt from this experience - now he knows what human life is like, because he's lived it. To me, that is an immense comfort, because it means he is not a far-off judge wagging his finger at me. He knows what I'm going through. He understands. He suffers alongside us. That, to me, is what makes him worthy of my love and devotion.

I believe in a God who loves us. No ifs or buts. God doesn't say, "I'll love you if you go to church" or "I'll love you if you fast for 40 days" or "I'll love you if you quit smoking" or "I'll love you when you're perfect". God's love is not conditional. We don't need to deserve his love: he's already given it to us. I believe in a God who came to live and die for us. That's pretty big love! And he didn't do it because we loved him... he did it because he loves us. 

 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. [...]We love each other because he loved us first. - 1 John 4: 10, 19

The language of my heart

When I was 18, I spent a year in London, studying and practising English. The experience shaped the person I am today in many significant ways. The most obvious one is that I became a Christian that year. My faith is the foundation of my worldview, of my values, and of the character I strive to develop. Yet, that is not the only door that was opened in my heart that year.

I fell in love with the English language and its culture. I made friends in London and learnt tidtits of British history, as well as odd British habits and foods - I have become a heavy tea drinker (with milk, please), and I love mince pies, beans on toast and mango chutney (OK, strictly speaking that's not English, but I learnt to love Indian food when I was there).

I started watching movies in English and reading books. Lots and lots of books. Over the years, I've discovered numerous authors and immersed myself in the worlds they created. I walked in the shoes of hundreds of characters, wept with them, laughed with them, trembled for them. As George R.R. Martin puts it in A Song of Ice and Fire, "A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one." Of course, I already was avidly reading French books, too; but reading in English imprinted the structure and flow of the language into my mind.

Partly because I was discovering faith in English, and partly because I was completely immersed in the language and culture, it created a strong emotional bond in my mind. English wasn't just a language I had learnt academically. It became part of me. It became the language of my heart and mind, sometimes even more than my mother tongue.

Like a cuckoo, I had hatched in a nest that wasn't build by my biological breed - but I felt at home. I returned to Belgium vowing I'd go back to the UK, and I spent a long time feeling homesick. Eventually, several years later, I moved to Swindon and lived there for 6 years, weaving English more and more into my personality. I worked with special needs children and discovered autism. English also allowed me to communicate with people all over the world through the internet, further opening up my mind to different cultures, ways of life and of perceiving the world.

Because I went to London, I learnt a new language that became part of me. I became a Christian. I made beloved friends. I opened my heart and mind to different cultures and ways of thinking. I got to know I had autism.

That gap year yielded outcomes that reached far into my future. I would not be the person I am today if I hadn't decided to go.

Roman Road, Eastend of London, where I lived for a year

Retro post: Dance...

From time to time, I find things I've written quite a while ago, possibly in another place. I thought I could re-post them here: retro-blogging!

Here is one I wrote in 2011.

The grown-ups, they rush past, all preoccupied with deadlines and bills and worrying and such like. But I am walking down the streets listening to music and I'm dancing in my head.

The music lives inside my head and from there is spreads through my veins; it runs in my limbs all the way to my fingertips. It possesses me and I could dance right here in the street, but I only just dance in my head.

Pyjama days can be very productive!

Long ago, I set a basic rule: in my house, it's still morning as long as I'm still in my pyjamas.

And what a productive morning it has been!

I emailed the publisher about the possibility of translating another book, I paid several bills online, and wrote to my sponsored children, Jacob and Dulce. I tidied up the living room, folded and put away some laundry, and put some more out to dry. I fed the dog (who picked at her food and decided to sleep instead), emptied the cat's litter tray and put some fresh one in (it was high time). I planned a family Sunday lunch with Mum over the phone, and planned a girls' sushi night out with a friend. I planned tomorrow's English class that I'll be teaching to my friends and prepared resources. I replied to a friend's email, several friends' Facebook messages, and participated in a discussion online about women in the church.

All in all, pyjama days are the best.

I suppose I'd better get dressed now, to get on with the rest of my day... After all, it IS 4:30 pm.

Unity and disagreement

This is the third post of a series on something that is extremely important to me: the Christian faith. As I explained yesterday, I have come to question certain beliefs I used to have; but I have always held on to the basics of the Christian faith.

The apostle Paul sums it up in 1 Corinthians 15:3-4: "For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,  that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures." It's the most simple expression of the Christian creed. A more elaborate version is the Apostles' Creed, also known as Symbol of the Apostles:

"I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried; he descended into hell. On the third day he rose again; he ascended into heaven, he is seated at the right hand of the Father, and he will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic (i.e. universal) Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting." 

Christians believe this and live in the light of it. Those are the essentials, the fundamentals. If a Christian questioned the existence of God, the divinity of Jesus, his death for our sins and his resurrection, I would question whether that person really understands what it means to be a Christian.

However, there are also a number of issues on which not all Christians agree. None of these issues are core to the Gospel, they're what I'd call peripheral issues. I learnt a wonderful word while I was translating a Christian book on ethics: irenic. Irenic means favouring peace and conciliation, especially in light of disagreements on Christian doctrine. How I wish Christians could be irenic when it comes to issues that are not core to the Christian message!

Some Christians believe God created the world in 6 days about 6,000 years ago, while some others don't see any contradiction between the scientific theory of evolution and the Bible (they believe God could have used and directed the evolutionary process). 

Some Christians believe that spectacular gifts of the Spirit such as speaking in tongues, prophesy, or healing only occured in apostolic times, while others think they still happen today.

Some Christians believe they should abstain from alcohol.

Some Christians believe women should not teach men in the church, whereas other churches let gifted women preach, teach and lead services.

Some Christians believe that those called to ministry ought to remain single, while others see no problem with married ministers.

Some Christians believe they should tithe (give 10% of all your income to charity), others believe they should just give what they have resolved in their hearts to give.

Some Christians are staunch pacifists while others feel in some cases, it is right and just to fight. 

Some Christians couples believe having children is a biblical mandate and that therefore, they should not use any form of contraception. Others believe there is nothing wrong with planning how many children, if any, they want to have.

... Some Christians believe that homosexuality is always a sin, whereas others believe that loving, committed relationships between two partners of the same sex are approved by God.

And there's the rub. This has become a non-negotiable issue for many Christians: believing anything else than the inherent sinfulness of homosexuality, whatever the circumstances, is seen as nothing short of heresy.

I think differently. I believe this is one of many issues over which Christians ought to agree to disagree. I believe we need to be irenic about it!

PS: The purpose of this post is not to defend my personal position on any of those issues, but to aknowledge the existence of doctrinal differences within the Christian faith that do not threaten or put into question the basics of the Gospel.

I will follow

Yesterday, I wrote a detailed post about my faith. In the past few years, I have come to re-assess a lot of things that I had been taught and had accepted as Gospel truth (pardon the pun), which is why I felt compelled to put in writing the actual content of my faith.

Today, I want to talk about the core of my faith, the Christian faith.

This core is the person of Jesus Christ. The very word Christian comes from the word Christ. At the most basic level, a Christian is someone who believes Jesus was who he said he was, and accomplished what he said he accomplished.

We believe Jesus is the Son of God become human. This is actually an amazing thing to believe in, because it means God is not some distant deity who cannot understand us or sympathize with our plight. He lived our life: he felt human pain, weariness, hunger, thirst, and emotions. He cried when a friend of his died. He was moved with compassion when he witnessed human suffering. He himself suffered torture and a slow, horrific agony. This means God knows what being human is like, what it feels like. Our God is close to us. He knows. He understands. That, to me, is a huge source of comfort, and one of the reasons I love him so much.

At the same time, he wasn't exactly a human like one of us. His teachings were both uncompromising and compelling. The virtues he details in the Sermon on the Mount seem unattainable, yet he lived up to them. He gave his time and energy to people, healing them, valuing them. He actually spent time with those society valued the least - the poor, the sick, women, and "notorious" sinners. He had little time for religious hypocrites, though, and didn't mince his words when talking about them. Yet, he taught enemy love and he let his enemies torture and kill him.  He showed us what human beings were supposed to be like: full of love, passionate for justice, passionate for God. 


Finally, he died. He announced his death beforehand and explained to his disciples that he would die on our behalf, as a ransom. A ransom is a price paid for someone's life, is it not? His life for ours. His life to pay the penalty for our sin, for our own rejection of God. His death to open the way to forgiveness and reconciliation. His death to defeat the power of sin and death over humanity. We Christians believe that when he rose again, he proved that he had indeed defeated sin and death. His death and resurrection mean we can enjoy a restored relationship to God.

This is huge. This is massive. This is amazing. This is compelling. And to me, the undeniable proof that God loves us.

This is the Christian story, the very core of it. This is what I build my life upon. Jesus is the man I will follow, and the God I will worship.

The foundations of my faith

In this blog, I already explained how I came to faith, and why I believe. Today, I want to explain precisely what I believe and what the foundations or my faith are. Those beliefs are based on the Bible so I have included Bible references.

1. I believe in one creator God, one in three persons – the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. We often say that “God is love”. Yet, love cannot exist without a recipient, and this is the mystery of the tri-une God: although he is one, he is three persons who love one another: at the heart of God is relationship from the very beginning. I believe God is loving, good, true, and just; I believe he is eternal, omniscient (all-knowing) and omnipotent (all-powerful). I believe he is the source of everything good, true, just and beautiful. I believe he caused the whole universe to come into being. I believe God designed human beings with free will – that is, we are not robots, we are free to choose between good and evil, love and hate, justice and injustice. I believe he made us in his own image, that is, beings that are capable of choices, beings of relationships, and beings of creativity, amongst other things. I believe he made us so we could enjoy a loving relationship with him. (Genesis 1-3; Matthew 28:19; John 1, 10:30, 14:8-11, 26, 17:3; 1 John 4:8)

2. I believe Jesus is God incarnate in human flesh. I believe he was born, lived and died as a human in Roman-occupied Israel at the beginning of the 1^st century as recorded in the New Testament Gospels. I believe he was crucified, was buried, and rose again. I believe he is alive eternally. Everything we need to know about God, we find in Jesus - he shows us exactly what God is like. (The Gospels - see especially John 1)

3. I believe that as humans we are all sinners, and sin separates us from God and deserves our death, for a just God cannot tolerate evil. I believe sin is in our nature but manifests itself in different ways in different people. I believe individual sins are the result of our inward attitude. Sin is my selfishness and ego, putting myself first and above everything else including God. Making myself my own God and rejecting the true God. Consequences both now (broken world, broken individual lives) and eternally (our ultimate destruction). I believe in sin because I see it both in my own life and heart, and in the world. (Genesis 3, Romans 1-3)

4. I believe that although God cannot tolerate evil, he still loves us more than we can imagine and didn't want to leave us in this dire situation. Because God loves us, he came to earth as Jesus: to make himself known to us, to extend his saving hand, and ultimately to die in our place, to die the death we deserve, so we could live, be forgiven of our wrongdoings, and enjoy a reconciled relationship with God, others, the world and ourselves. I believe Jesus’ death was the atoning sacrifice through which God chose to reconcile humanity to himself. I believe the process of redemption concerns not just individuals, but communities and ultimately the whole world. Each individual is responsible for his own acceptance of God’s work in their lives, but God’s goal is to redeem the whole world, transform it, renew it. (John 3:16-18; Romans 3:23-25, 5, 8:19-22)

5. I believe the Spirit of God lives in every believer and gives him both the will and the ability to change and become a better human day by day. This is what Christians call sanctification. I believe redemption and sanctification are a process that lasts a lifetime. (Matthew 10:20; John 7:39, 14:17, 26; 16:13; Acts 1-2)

6. I believe the universal church is the community of all those who trust in and follow Jesus as their God and Saviour. I believe we are called to spread the message of the gospel (good news) of God’s love for humanity, not just through words but through actions. I believe God wants us to partner with him to redeem this world. I believe Christian are called to form communities together where they can encourage each other, support each other, teach each other and pray for each other. (Acts)

7. I believe in the Bible. I believe it has been written by humans and inspired by God. I believe it tells us the Great Story about God, about the world, and about ourselves. I believe it contains commands to follow, principles to apply, examples to follow and virtues to cultivate. I also believe that it needs careful interpretation, given the variety of literary genres, historical and cultural contexts, and original recipients it was addressed to. I believe studying the Bible is fundamental for every Christian. (2 Timothy 3:16)

8. I believe in prayer. I believe that when we talk to God, he listens, he cares and he acts, although not always in the way we imagined, because he has infinite knowledge of everything we and the world need, while we don’t. (Matthew 7:7-11; Luke 11:1-13; John 14: 13-14, 16:23-26)