Top anxiety triggers for people with autism

As you probably know if you've been reading my blog, I have Asperger's syndrome, which is an autistic spectrum disorder. Today, something happened at work that reminded me of how fragile I can be, and I decided to share what happened and how it affected me.

I had just begun my shift. It was early in the morning and I was putting fresh loaves of bread on the shelves. All of a sudden, a loud hooting sound resonated behind me.

It made me jump. It made my heart race and my head swim; my hands became clammy. It brought tears to my eyes and a sudden feeling of rage rose in my chest. I turned around and saw my colleague standing on the forklift truck, laughing. He realised straight away I was upset and shrugged, "Smile, it was just a joke!"

A joke isn't funny when it's at someone else's expense. As it happens, loud, sudden noises cause me a lot of anxiety, and it can affect how I feel for the rest of the day. Here are the top 3 anxiety triggers for people with autism - people like me.

1. Uncertainty - not knowing what is happening or what is going to happen, or not knowing what is expected of us. You may know that people with autism need routines. What you may not know is that this is not just a preference. When something unexpected happens, we feel completely at loss, and we panic.

Most daily rules and routines change because of circumstances, but people with autism really struggle with that. For instance, you may have forbidden your autistic child from going in the laundry room because you don't want them to touch the washing machine. But today, your child has been playing outside and their clothes are covered in mud, so you take them straight to the laundry room to undress. The child will not understand why they're being taken in a place that is forbidden. The resulting tantrum or lack of compliance is not a display of bad behaviour, but a display of deep anxiety. You need to either stick to the rule, or, if your child has enough understanding, explain how, under those circumstances and under your supervision, they may come into the previously forbidden room.

2. Social interactions. We may struggle to understand social cues (or even language) or to communicate appropriately. Or, if we have been trained to act in the socially appropriate way, it still doesn't come naturally, and the effort is exhausting. If we have to interact with people we don't know well, or not at all, we have the extra stress of not knowing how that person will act. Social norms that we find difficult may be imposed on us. For instance, in my area, most people like to greet each other with a peck on the cheek. Refusing to do so is considered as rude as refusing to shake hands (something that many autistic people don't like, either!). Yet, letting someone touch my face requires trust, so I feel really uncomfortable when colleagues or regular customers insist on greeting me in that manner. I daren't refuse because I don't want to be rude, but it makes me feel anxious and stressed.

3. Sensory issues. Most of us are highly sensitive to light, noise, or touch. Sudden, loud noises cause me physical discomfort or pain, and set me on edge for a long time. So do unexpected touches - people may touch my shoulder in what they mean to be a friendly manner, but if I do not expect it, I will jump. Always make sure an autistic person is fine with you touching them before you do so - and by the way, should not that apply to everyone? My body isn't public property. I am the only one who should decide when it's OK for someone else to touch it.

People with autism struggle with things that most people take for granted. Please, keep those things in mind.