I haven been pondering about the reasons why I still go to church, and this gave me an idea. I would like to write a blog post about church, what it is for, what it means to us, and what our perception of it is.
So today, I have an open question to my readers:
What does "church" mean to you? It can be positive or negative; it can include your own experience. You don't necessarily have to be a church-goer to give me your thoughts. You can either share them in the comments section below or message me. Just be aware that will probably use your input to write a blog post - so if you're not happy for me to do so, please let me know.
Musings is a pretty word. So here are the musings of an Aspergirl with a love of life, a passion for stories, and an ongoing faith journey.
Sunday 30 November 2014
Friday 14 November 2014
What autism isn't (and what it is)
A lot has been done to inform and educate people about autism, but a
lot of stereotypes still need to be challenged. As a person with an
autistic spectrum condition – I have Asperger’s syndrome – I thought I’d
share with you a few things I am not:
1. I am not a “retard”. The word itself is offensive anyway, and you shouldn’t use it to describe anyone. In addition, autism has got nothing to do with IQ. Some people with autism are extremely intelligent; others have developmental delays and very low IQ – and everything in between those two extremes. Autism may impair a person’s ability to function independently, but it does not mean they’re stupid.
2. I am not sick. Autism is not a disease, it’s a neurological condition. That means you cannot “cure” it, much like you can’t “cure” Down syndrome. I can develop strategies to help me function better and reach my full potential. However, if I am successfully doing this, it doesn’t imply I am “cured”. It just means I have learnt to adjust and thrive.
3. I am not broken. I don’t need to be fixed or mended. My brain functions differently from yours and at times that makes it difficult for us to understand each other or get on, or for me to live independently. However, I am a whole person with a lot to offer. I can be given strategies to adjust to mainstream society. I would be happy if you too made an effort to try and understand my points of view and adjust to the way my brain works. If we both take steps towards each other, we’ll get along much better.
4. I am not an “idiot savant”. As I highlighted before, autism and IQ are not related. Yes, some people with autism are geniuses in one or several areas – it can be maths, music, drawing or anything else. However, not all of us are geniuses. Don’t assume I’m going to pull some incredible intellectual skill out of my sleeve just because I have autism – trust me, I experience enough difficulties as it is without having to deal with painfully unrealistic expectations.
5. I am not selfish or unsympathetic. I struggle to understand other people’s point of views. Body language, facial expressions, subtext, and implied or hinted meanings are very mysterious to me. This means I do not always understand or realise what emotions you are going through. However, if you make it plain and simple and tell me, you will find me very sympathetic and eager to help. I do care. I just don’t always have the tools to understand your emotions. Equally, because I lack the ability to imagine what you feel or think, I might not realise how my words or actions will impact you before it’s too late. I might upset you without meaning to. Yet, once I realise this, I will be mortified and very willing to make it right – possibly making things worse with my awkwardness. Please be patient with me.
6. I am not antisocial. Some people have told me, "How can you have Asperger's? You've got friends, you get along with people!" While it is true that some people with autistic spectrum disorders have little interest in people and friendship, don't assume this is true for all of us. Some of us desperately want to make friends, but really struggle to do so (see point 5). Some of us have acquired enough social skills to make friends and socialize, even though it is often taxing (I avoid socializing in large groups because it exhausts me to interact with so many people and have to deal with so much information processing - my brain cannot cope). And most of all, those of us who have good friends are probably blessed to have met understanding, open-minded people who looked beyond our social akwardness and love us just as we are.
7. We're all on spectrum, aren't we? ... I should think not.
I have become increasingly annoyed by people saying "We're all on the spectrum" (meaning the autistic spectrum) after describing one of their idiosyncracies.
To all you neurotypicals (i.e., whose brains functions in typical fashion, as opposed to autistic brains) out there:
- Being organised does not make you autistic. It just makes you, well... organised.
- Sorting out your socks by colour does not make you autistic. At best, it makes you slightly OCD.
- Getting annoyed by last-minute changes to a plan doesn't make you autistic. There is a difference between being annoyed by change, and experiencing significant anxiety and distress because of it.
- Being very focused on a particular task at a particular time does not make you autistic. Being unable to focus on anything else does.
- Preferring to be alone doesn't necessarily make you autistic. As I mentioned above, autistic people are not all antisocial.
If you don't experience significant difficulties in the areas of social communication, social interation and social imagination (and theory of mind), as well as sensory difficulties, you are not on the autistic spectrum; and by saying you are, you are belittling the difficulties those of us who really are experience on a daily basis.
1. I am not a “retard”. The word itself is offensive anyway, and you shouldn’t use it to describe anyone. In addition, autism has got nothing to do with IQ. Some people with autism are extremely intelligent; others have developmental delays and very low IQ – and everything in between those two extremes. Autism may impair a person’s ability to function independently, but it does not mean they’re stupid.
2. I am not sick. Autism is not a disease, it’s a neurological condition. That means you cannot “cure” it, much like you can’t “cure” Down syndrome. I can develop strategies to help me function better and reach my full potential. However, if I am successfully doing this, it doesn’t imply I am “cured”. It just means I have learnt to adjust and thrive.
3. I am not broken. I don’t need to be fixed or mended. My brain functions differently from yours and at times that makes it difficult for us to understand each other or get on, or for me to live independently. However, I am a whole person with a lot to offer. I can be given strategies to adjust to mainstream society. I would be happy if you too made an effort to try and understand my points of view and adjust to the way my brain works. If we both take steps towards each other, we’ll get along much better.
4. I am not an “idiot savant”. As I highlighted before, autism and IQ are not related. Yes, some people with autism are geniuses in one or several areas – it can be maths, music, drawing or anything else. However, not all of us are geniuses. Don’t assume I’m going to pull some incredible intellectual skill out of my sleeve just because I have autism – trust me, I experience enough difficulties as it is without having to deal with painfully unrealistic expectations.
5. I am not selfish or unsympathetic. I struggle to understand other people’s point of views. Body language, facial expressions, subtext, and implied or hinted meanings are very mysterious to me. This means I do not always understand or realise what emotions you are going through. However, if you make it plain and simple and tell me, you will find me very sympathetic and eager to help. I do care. I just don’t always have the tools to understand your emotions. Equally, because I lack the ability to imagine what you feel or think, I might not realise how my words or actions will impact you before it’s too late. I might upset you without meaning to. Yet, once I realise this, I will be mortified and very willing to make it right – possibly making things worse with my awkwardness. Please be patient with me.
6. I am not antisocial. Some people have told me, "How can you have Asperger's? You've got friends, you get along with people!" While it is true that some people with autistic spectrum disorders have little interest in people and friendship, don't assume this is true for all of us. Some of us desperately want to make friends, but really struggle to do so (see point 5). Some of us have acquired enough social skills to make friends and socialize, even though it is often taxing (I avoid socializing in large groups because it exhausts me to interact with so many people and have to deal with so much information processing - my brain cannot cope). And most of all, those of us who have good friends are probably blessed to have met understanding, open-minded people who looked beyond our social akwardness and love us just as we are.
7. We're all on spectrum, aren't we? ... I should think not.
I have become increasingly annoyed by people saying "We're all on the spectrum" (meaning the autistic spectrum) after describing one of their idiosyncracies.
To all you neurotypicals (i.e., whose brains functions in typical fashion, as opposed to autistic brains) out there:
- Being organised does not make you autistic. It just makes you, well... organised.
- Sorting out your socks by colour does not make you autistic. At best, it makes you slightly OCD.
- Getting annoyed by last-minute changes to a plan doesn't make you autistic. There is a difference between being annoyed by change, and experiencing significant anxiety and distress because of it.
- Being very focused on a particular task at a particular time does not make you autistic. Being unable to focus on anything else does.
- Preferring to be alone doesn't necessarily make you autistic. As I mentioned above, autistic people are not all antisocial.
If you don't experience significant difficulties in the areas of social communication, social interation and social imagination (and theory of mind), as well as sensory difficulties, you are not on the autistic spectrum; and by saying you are, you are belittling the difficulties those of us who really are experience on a daily basis.
Tuesday 11 November 2014
I picked you.
There were three kittens in the sheep pen that day.
We'd always had cats growing up. The first one was a Siamese who lived to be 20, but we also adopted countless strays that'd come to beg at our door or kittens we found in my Dad's workshop. We once had a black cat we named Zaïre (the former name of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, how politically incorrect!), and a white female (very unfortunate colour) who hated baths even more than most cats. There was the ginger tom that hadn't been weaned properly, so for the rest of his life, he'd suck on my Mum's cardigan whenever he was on her lap. Even now, my parents have three cats - Albus, the lazy fat white cat, Yala, the sleek black female, and Jacob, the crazed kitten Mum found in the woods when he was a only tiny furball.
And so I had always wanted a cat of my very own. He'd be black and I'd give him a cool geeky name like Spock or Dr Sheldon Cooper.
About a year ago, a customer of my shop told me a female cat kept giving birth to kittens in his sheep pen, and asked me if I wanted one. So I set off with him to find my very own cat.
There were three kittens in the sheep pen that day. An older, sleek, black-and-rusty one who really wanted to make friends, a terrified fluffy grey female, and a slightly-less-terrified fluffy tabby. That was you.
There were three kittens in the sheep pen that day. The older one kept flirting with me, rubbing his head against my legs and asking for cuddles. But I picked you - the scared, fluffy, wide-eyed one.
The man picked you up and gave you to me. I held you close and I could feel how terrified you were. I brought you back home and as soon as I let go, you ran off and hid under the sofa. You didn't come out for about a week, and even after that, you wouldn't let me come close.
One day though, we started playing together with a piece of string. You loved it. After that, you warmed up to me, and eventually you let me stroke your back and hold you.
I named you Isaac, after the man who gave you to me.
Now you love lying streched out on my tummy and resting your head in the crook of my shoulder. You purr so loud it sounds like a little motor. You're no longer a tiny fluffy kitten: you're a big, strong cat - but still fluffy.
There were three kittens in the sheep pen that day. I could have picked any one of them, but I picked you, Isaac, my very own cat.
We'd always had cats growing up. The first one was a Siamese who lived to be 20, but we also adopted countless strays that'd come to beg at our door or kittens we found in my Dad's workshop. We once had a black cat we named Zaïre (the former name of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, how politically incorrect!), and a white female (very unfortunate colour) who hated baths even more than most cats. There was the ginger tom that hadn't been weaned properly, so for the rest of his life, he'd suck on my Mum's cardigan whenever he was on her lap. Even now, my parents have three cats - Albus, the lazy fat white cat, Yala, the sleek black female, and Jacob, the crazed kitten Mum found in the woods when he was a only tiny furball.
And so I had always wanted a cat of my very own. He'd be black and I'd give him a cool geeky name like Spock or Dr Sheldon Cooper.
About a year ago, a customer of my shop told me a female cat kept giving birth to kittens in his sheep pen, and asked me if I wanted one. So I set off with him to find my very own cat.
There were three kittens in the sheep pen that day. An older, sleek, black-and-rusty one who really wanted to make friends, a terrified fluffy grey female, and a slightly-less-terrified fluffy tabby. That was you.
There were three kittens in the sheep pen that day. The older one kept flirting with me, rubbing his head against my legs and asking for cuddles. But I picked you - the scared, fluffy, wide-eyed one.
The man picked you up and gave you to me. I held you close and I could feel how terrified you were. I brought you back home and as soon as I let go, you ran off and hid under the sofa. You didn't come out for about a week, and even after that, you wouldn't let me come close.
One day though, we started playing together with a piece of string. You loved it. After that, you warmed up to me, and eventually you let me stroke your back and hold you.
I named you Isaac, after the man who gave you to me.
Now you love lying streched out on my tummy and resting your head in the crook of my shoulder. You purr so loud it sounds like a little motor. You're no longer a tiny fluffy kitten: you're a big, strong cat - but still fluffy.
There were three kittens in the sheep pen that day. I could have picked any one of them, but I picked you, Isaac, my very own cat.
Sunday 9 November 2014
Cast the first stone
I wrote this poem a few years ago and it feels quite fitting today, relating to a situation I won't get into because it's personal.
"Cast the first stone
Cast the first stone, why don't you?
Cast the stone on the adulteress who's crouching in the dust
never mind the nameless man who was with her
"Cast the first stone
Cast the first stone, why don't you?
Cast the stone on the adulteress who's crouching in the dust
never mind the nameless man who was with her
Cast the stone on the drug addict who's shaking all over
never mind the one who first sold him powdered dreams
Cast the stone on the loser who cannot pull his life together
never mind that he never had any hope to stand upon
Cast the stone on the lost child looking for boundaries
Cast the stone on the lost soul looking for purpose.
Cast the first stone, why don't you?
Cast the stone of your judgement
Cast the stone of your fears
Cast the stones of your own shortcomings and insecurities.
Cast the first stone, why don't you?
Condemn with your righteous hearts
Cast your cursing stones upon the sinner.
Have you forgotten?
You'll be buried under the stones you've thrown
They will be the monument on your grave
Because Jesus said:
He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone. (John 8:7)
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Luke 6:37 and Matthew 7:2)
Have you forgotten?
It was the tax collector
the sinner
the outcast
who went home forgiven
not the religious man boasting about his own spirituality.
(Luke 18:9-14).
Because Jesus said:
It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. (Mark 2:17)"
never mind the one who first sold him powdered dreams
Cast the stone on the loser who cannot pull his life together
never mind that he never had any hope to stand upon
Cast the stone on the lost child looking for boundaries
Cast the stone on the lost soul looking for purpose.
Cast the first stone, why don't you?
Cast the stone of your judgement
Cast the stone of your fears
Cast the stones of your own shortcomings and insecurities.
Cast the first stone, why don't you?
Condemn with your righteous hearts
Cast your cursing stones upon the sinner.
Have you forgotten?
You'll be buried under the stones you've thrown
They will be the monument on your grave
Because Jesus said:
He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone. (John 8:7)
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Luke 6:37 and Matthew 7:2)
Have you forgotten?
It was the tax collector
the sinner
the outcast
who went home forgiven
not the religious man boasting about his own spirituality.
(Luke 18:9-14).
Because Jesus said:
It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. (Mark 2:17)"
Friday 7 November 2014
The car made me love the song (or how advertising failed)
According to Wikipedia, advertising is "a form of marketing communication used to encourage, persuade, or manipulate an audience to take or continue to take some action" - usually, to buy a product. I find it interesting that the term "manipulate" is used in this definition, because that's exactly what marketing does, in the end: it manipulates you into thinking you really need this product (even though you probably really don't).
I work in a supermarket, so I see it everyday. Offering free trinkets with every purchase - for instance, "if I buy this packet of biscuits I usually don't eat, I'll get a batman wallet" (ok, I fell for that one. And I'm not even using the wallet!). So-called discounts spreading the lie that the more you buy, the more money you'll save ("buy two, get the third one free"). 100% reimbursed products - but how many of us are really going to bother sending back the product packaging and receipt to the manufacturer along with our contact and bank details in order to get a few euros/pounds/dollars back?
Advertising uses carefully crafted images to convey its message, and its bottom line is "buying our product will make you happier". It pulls all of our strings, from our need for security to our desire for sex - how many brands use irrealistically beautiful and "sexy" models to make us long for what we see? As Tyler Durden famously said in Fight Club, "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need". I find that to be increasingly true now that I make a conscious effort to be aware of it. There are so many things I see in shops and on TV that, truth be told, I really don't want at all. Of course, I still have some weaknesses. I am a sucker for clothes, as I have explained elsewhere (1); yet, I don't feel the urge to buy new clothes as much as I used to, and I rarely look twice into a shop window these days. I'd rather buy secondhand (if anything, it's cheaper!). Socrates is reported to have said, while looking at a mass of things for sale, "How many things I have no need of!". I would like that to be my philosophy when it comes to shopping.
I can get really annoyed at TV adverts. Take so-called breakfast biscuits. Advertisers would have us believe that they are healthy, nutritious, and will fill you up until lunchtime, when at the end of the day, they're no more than glamourized biscuits - or so I shouted at the TV, much to my boyfriend's amusement.
Lately, I saw a car advert on TV and I quite liked it. It had interesting aesthetics, changing a cityscape into an Arizona landscape, together with elderly people throwing crumbs to eagles rather than pigeons. It also used a very catchy tune that I hadn't heard before.
But the advertisers completely failed in their goal. I have never had any interest in buying their car. However, I did really want to know about the tune they used. So now, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros can thank Peugeot for directing me to their song, "Home".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) If you remember this story, where I wrestle with the idea of buying a new dress, you may want to know that I didn't buy it new. I found a similar one of the same brand on a second-hand website. Yay!
I work in a supermarket, so I see it everyday. Offering free trinkets with every purchase - for instance, "if I buy this packet of biscuits I usually don't eat, I'll get a batman wallet" (ok, I fell for that one. And I'm not even using the wallet!). So-called discounts spreading the lie that the more you buy, the more money you'll save ("buy two, get the third one free"). 100% reimbursed products - but how many of us are really going to bother sending back the product packaging and receipt to the manufacturer along with our contact and bank details in order to get a few euros/pounds/dollars back?
Advertising uses carefully crafted images to convey its message, and its bottom line is "buying our product will make you happier". It pulls all of our strings, from our need for security to our desire for sex - how many brands use irrealistically beautiful and "sexy" models to make us long for what we see? As Tyler Durden famously said in Fight Club, "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need". I find that to be increasingly true now that I make a conscious effort to be aware of it. There are so many things I see in shops and on TV that, truth be told, I really don't want at all. Of course, I still have some weaknesses. I am a sucker for clothes, as I have explained elsewhere (1); yet, I don't feel the urge to buy new clothes as much as I used to, and I rarely look twice into a shop window these days. I'd rather buy secondhand (if anything, it's cheaper!). Socrates is reported to have said, while looking at a mass of things for sale, "How many things I have no need of!". I would like that to be my philosophy when it comes to shopping.
I can get really annoyed at TV adverts. Take so-called breakfast biscuits. Advertisers would have us believe that they are healthy, nutritious, and will fill you up until lunchtime, when at the end of the day, they're no more than glamourized biscuits - or so I shouted at the TV, much to my boyfriend's amusement.
Lately, I saw a car advert on TV and I quite liked it. It had interesting aesthetics, changing a cityscape into an Arizona landscape, together with elderly people throwing crumbs to eagles rather than pigeons. It also used a very catchy tune that I hadn't heard before.
But the advertisers completely failed in their goal. I have never had any interest in buying their car. However, I did really want to know about the tune they used. So now, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros can thank Peugeot for directing me to their song, "Home".
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) If you remember this story, where I wrestle with the idea of buying a new dress, you may want to know that I didn't buy it new. I found a similar one of the same brand on a second-hand website. Yay!
Wednesday 5 November 2014
Top anxiety triggers for people with autism
As you probably know if you've been reading my blog, I have Asperger's syndrome, which is an autistic spectrum disorder. Today, something happened at work that reminded me of how fragile I can be, and I decided to share what happened and how it affected me.
I had just begun my shift. It was early in the morning and I was putting fresh loaves of bread on the shelves. All of a sudden, a loud hooting sound resonated behind me.
It made me jump. It made my heart race and my head swim; my hands became clammy. It brought tears to my eyes and a sudden feeling of rage rose in my chest. I turned around and saw my colleague standing on the forklift truck, laughing. He realised straight away I was upset and shrugged, "Smile, it was just a joke!"
A joke isn't funny when it's at someone else's expense. As it happens, loud, sudden noises cause me a lot of anxiety, and it can affect how I feel for the rest of the day. Here are the top 3 anxiety triggers for people with autism - people like me.
1. Uncertainty - not knowing what is happening or what is going to happen, or not knowing what is expected of us. You may know that people with autism need routines. What you may not know is that this is not just a preference. When something unexpected happens, we feel completely at loss, and we panic.
Most daily rules and routines change because of circumstances, but people with autism really struggle with that. For instance, you may have forbidden your autistic child from going in the laundry room because you don't want them to touch the washing machine. But today, your child has been playing outside and their clothes are covered in mud, so you take them straight to the laundry room to undress. The child will not understand why they're being taken in a place that is forbidden. The resulting tantrum or lack of compliance is not a display of bad behaviour, but a display of deep anxiety. You need to either stick to the rule, or, if your child has enough understanding, explain how, under those circumstances and under your supervision, they may come into the previously forbidden room.
2. Social interactions. We may struggle to understand social cues (or even language) or to communicate appropriately. Or, if we have been trained to act in the socially appropriate way, it still doesn't come naturally, and the effort is exhausting. If we have to interact with people we don't know well, or not at all, we have the extra stress of not knowing how that person will act. Social norms that we find difficult may be imposed on us. For instance, in my area, most people like to greet each other with a peck on the cheek. Refusing to do so is considered as rude as refusing to shake hands (something that many autistic people don't like, either!). Yet, letting someone touch my face requires trust, so I feel really uncomfortable when colleagues or regular customers insist on greeting me in that manner. I daren't refuse because I don't want to be rude, but it makes me feel anxious and stressed.
3. Sensory issues. Most of us are highly sensitive to light, noise, or touch. Sudden, loud noises cause me physical discomfort or pain, and set me on edge for a long time. So do unexpected touches - people may touch my shoulder in what they mean to be a friendly manner, but if I do not expect it, I will jump. Always make sure an autistic person is fine with you touching them before you do so - and by the way, should not that apply to everyone? My body isn't public property. I am the only one who should decide when it's OK for someone else to touch it.
People with autism struggle with things that most people take for granted. Please, keep those things in mind.
I had just begun my shift. It was early in the morning and I was putting fresh loaves of bread on the shelves. All of a sudden, a loud hooting sound resonated behind me.
It made me jump. It made my heart race and my head swim; my hands became clammy. It brought tears to my eyes and a sudden feeling of rage rose in my chest. I turned around and saw my colleague standing on the forklift truck, laughing. He realised straight away I was upset and shrugged, "Smile, it was just a joke!"
A joke isn't funny when it's at someone else's expense. As it happens, loud, sudden noises cause me a lot of anxiety, and it can affect how I feel for the rest of the day. Here are the top 3 anxiety triggers for people with autism - people like me.
1. Uncertainty - not knowing what is happening or what is going to happen, or not knowing what is expected of us. You may know that people with autism need routines. What you may not know is that this is not just a preference. When something unexpected happens, we feel completely at loss, and we panic.
Most daily rules and routines change because of circumstances, but people with autism really struggle with that. For instance, you may have forbidden your autistic child from going in the laundry room because you don't want them to touch the washing machine. But today, your child has been playing outside and their clothes are covered in mud, so you take them straight to the laundry room to undress. The child will not understand why they're being taken in a place that is forbidden. The resulting tantrum or lack of compliance is not a display of bad behaviour, but a display of deep anxiety. You need to either stick to the rule, or, if your child has enough understanding, explain how, under those circumstances and under your supervision, they may come into the previously forbidden room.
2. Social interactions. We may struggle to understand social cues (or even language) or to communicate appropriately. Or, if we have been trained to act in the socially appropriate way, it still doesn't come naturally, and the effort is exhausting. If we have to interact with people we don't know well, or not at all, we have the extra stress of not knowing how that person will act. Social norms that we find difficult may be imposed on us. For instance, in my area, most people like to greet each other with a peck on the cheek. Refusing to do so is considered as rude as refusing to shake hands (something that many autistic people don't like, either!). Yet, letting someone touch my face requires trust, so I feel really uncomfortable when colleagues or regular customers insist on greeting me in that manner. I daren't refuse because I don't want to be rude, but it makes me feel anxious and stressed.
3. Sensory issues. Most of us are highly sensitive to light, noise, or touch. Sudden, loud noises cause me physical discomfort or pain, and set me on edge for a long time. So do unexpected touches - people may touch my shoulder in what they mean to be a friendly manner, but if I do not expect it, I will jump. Always make sure an autistic person is fine with you touching them before you do so - and by the way, should not that apply to everyone? My body isn't public property. I am the only one who should decide when it's OK for someone else to touch it.
People with autism struggle with things that most people take for granted. Please, keep those things in mind.
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