Why I am not a Muslim, and why I love Muslims regardless

There is a lot of negative talk about Muslims, and many people are hostile to Islam because of terrorism. I have written about this issue time and again. Indeed, I feel upset, sad and angry when people demonize all Muslims because of Daesh. The vast majority of Muslims are peaceful people who are appalled by terrorism and Daesh just as we are, and the majority of Daesh victims are actually Muslims. I also deplore the fact that whenever someone commits a crime and is of Muslim background, the media is quick to highlight it, whereas they seldom mention origin when someone from a "White, Christian" background is the culprit.

I have no personal issue with Muslims. I have Muslim colleagues and I work within a predominantly Muslim environment (a majority of the asylum seekers currently staying in our Red Cross centre identify as Muslims). I love working with them.

Lately, I had a conversation around faith with a Muslim friend. When I said I was a believer, he said to me, "If you were a true believer, wouldn't you accept the Word of the Prophet Mohammed, as he was foretold in the Bible?" 

This is interesting, because looking into Islam, ironically, played a part in my choosing the Christian faith:

"I met a Muslim. We discussed God and religion, and I read some booklets about Islam. As a result, some of my beliefs were challenged. Indeed, I had always thought that all religions all led to God. However, in Islam you had to obey lots of rules and do good deeds, and then maybe, if you were found good enough, God would accept you. On the other hand, I was being told in Church that as a sinner, there was nothing I could do to make myself acceptable to a perfect, absolutely good God, and that all I could do was accept what Jesus had done for me and commit my life to Him. That wasn’t the same thing at all – one belief system told me I had to work hard to deserve God’s acceptance, and the other told me there was nothing I could do and nothing I needed to do, because God had already done it all for me… all I had to do was receive His gift.

I was extremely confused. I could see both beliefs couldn’t be true at the same time, because in all logic they were self-excluding. But I had no idea which one was right. Both seemed to make sense. I knew I had to choose one or the other, and I did want to please God and do what He required, but I simply didn’t know which way was the right one.

I was more attracted to Islam because it fitted my views about God and religion: God wanted us to obey a certain set of rules and be good, and when we'd die He would weigh our good and bad deeds on a pair of scales and see which way it tipped. But I could not dismiss Christianity, because it could make sense too."

I am not going to get into why I don't believe the Bible foretold Mohammed; many Christian theologians have done it much better than I could. I am just going to explain why, personally, I cannot embrace the Muslim faith: because of Jesus. 

Muslim doctrine denies core elements of my faith. It denies the divinity of Jesus, while believing he really was God incarnate is crucial to my faith: God to me is not abstract and aloof, he is close to us. He got his hands dirty. He shared in the messiness of humanity. He knows our struggles because he's lived through them. I would go as far as to say that God LEARNT from the incarnation: instead of an "academic" knowledge of the human experience, he knows because he experienced it personally, which makes him able to fully empathize with us. As far as I know, this is absent from Islam. Second, Muslim doctrine denies Jesus's death. To them Jesus never died: God subsituted him for someone else and gave that other someone the appearance of Jesus. First, why the trickery? Why would God deceive us? Second, Jesus' death and resurrection is crucial to my faith. They bring me redemption and hope. Whatever your theory of atonement is, Jesus had to die, if only to fully identify with us in our humanity. His death reconciled us with God - he took our sins upon himself so we could be free of that burden, freed to do good instead. And if he didn't die, neither did he rise - and then where is the hope of our own resurrection? Jesus's incarnation, life, death and resurrection bring me a hope and peace that I have not found in Islam (I have read Muslim booklets explaining the faith, booklets designed to win over converts, as well as several passages from translations of the Holy Quran). This is why I am not a Muslim.

This being said, I have no personal problems with Muslim people. They are my human brothers and sisters, created by God and loved by God. He knows their hearts and I do not, so I cannot presume to know whether they are "saved" or not (whatever that means). I can only follow Jesus' command to love them. I work among Muslims every day at the center for asylum seekers. They are humans. They can be kind, loving, funny, rude, angry, hospitable, touching, humble, proud, they can be peaceful and they can be violent. They are human brothers and sisters, not better than us and not worse, either.

Finally, I think as Christians, we can learn from the devotion to God we see in Islam. Who among us prays 5 times a day? I know I don't. Who fasts from sunrise till sunset for 40 days? I know I don't. Who learns verses of the Holy Scripture by heart in order to be closer to God? I know I don't. So I have a lot of respect for my Muslim brothers and sisters.

A time of violence and grief

I just switched on the news, and there it was. Another attack from "jihadists", this time targeting a church and murdering a priest. Violence goes on and on (and if we take off our Western-centered glasses for a second, we'll realise such attacks on Christians is nothing new at all).

I feel like my arms and legs have been cut off.

I want to believe in love, peace, and this crazy idea that we can all live together as the human brothers and sisters that we are. Yet, such horrendous acts scream at me that it cannot be. That humans are always going to tear each other apart. That I'd better give up on hope and love and peace. That I should be afraid of Muslims - afraid of the men and women and children I look after at the centre for asylum seekers and of the many other Muslims who live in my country. That I should hide away from them, be wary of them, push them out of my life and even out of my country. Just in case.

I don't want to listen to the screams of terrorism. I don't want to stop loving the people I work with. I don't want terrorism to colour my dealings with the Muslims I come across.

Let us not forget that Daesh aims to divide us, to create a rift between Muslims and the Western world. Let us not allow them to create that rift. Let us not allow them to divide us. I have said it before and I will say it again: the majority of Muslims are as appalled as we are. Besides, in Daesh-controlled territories, they are targeted too. Blaming Muslims and rejecting them will only create more tension, more hatred, and more potential terrorists. This is why I want to love Muslims and offer them my friendship: because I believe this is the only way we can resist a spiral of hatred and violence. To me, this is the only sustainable weapon we have against terrorism.

If you are grieving for Father Jacques Hamel, do not forget what he stood for: he was a Christian, he believed in Jesus Christ. And Jesus Christ asked us to love our enemie and pray for them. Is it hard? Yes, it is. It is hard, painful, heart-wrenching, and dangerous. But this is what Jesus asks, and this is what Jesus did. He was brutally murdered, yet he prayed for his murderers. Jesus gave his life out of love for his enemies.

If you are a Christian, don't forget this: we are supposed to fight hate with love, persecution with prayer, evil with good. And if you are not a Christian, remember all that Father Jacques Hamel stood for, all he believed in. He would not want you to respond with hatred and vengeance.

Let us fight terrorism

22 March 2016. I was having breakfast when I heard the news. Terrorists had struck Brussels.

I felt immense grief. My heart went out to victims and their families. I have no idea how such pain and terror must feel.

All the same, I remember that this pain and terror is part of daily life for millions of human beings in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan or Yemen. My heart grieves for those suffering every day all around the world.

And I feel overwhelmed by the same fear and grief than after the Paris attacks: fear for Muslims, as Daesh tries to create a rift between them and the rest of the Western population.  

Just as I did in November, I refuse to be consumed by fear, hostility and hate, and more than ever, I stand by my decision to love my Muslim brothers and sisters and to pray for my enemies. 

I choose love. I choose to fight terrorism in my own way. Would you join me? 

Terrorism, by its very definition, aims to terrorize us, and, in the more specific case of Daesh, to drive us apart from each other through fear, hostility, hate and rejection. If we're scared, the terrorists have won. And if we are overcome by fear and hatred for those who are Muslims, for refugees and strangers, they have won, too. So here is my plan to fight terrorists:

1. Let's not give into fear. Let's not allow them ruin our lives. We will all die, my friends, but, contrary to people in the Middle East, we are very unlikely to die in a terrorist attack. So let's not be afraid to go out, travel, go to big cities such as Brussels, Paris or London. Let's carry on with our lives and enjoy our freedom.

2. Let's not give in to hatred. Let's reach out to the other, the stranger. Let's welcome everyone without prejudice, whatever their nationality, ethnicity, religion; whether they have been living among us for decades or whether they have just arrived as immigrants.

3. Let's build relationships. If we have friends who are from another culture (even - gasp! - Muslims), let's spend time with them, deepen our friendship. Let's ask them about their culture, their passions, their values. We live in a multicultural society: they are among us. They're our neighbours, our colleagues, our local shopkeepers. They sit next to us on public transport. So if we don't know them, let's get to know them! Let's say hello; let's invite them for coffee, for a meal or for a movie.
 
4. Let's get informed. Let's not believe everything we see in the media (especially social media). Let's check information - check sources. Let's read serious articles and books about issues that concern us. Let's talk to people who are insiders and know their stuff: ask Muslims about their faith. If we want to know about refugees, let's ask the refugees and people who work with them (ask me about my work! I love to talk about it. What would you like to know?).
 
5. Let's celebrate diversity - the human race is made up of so many beautifully different people!

6. If we are believers, let's pray. Let's pray for peace, for love, and for unity; let's pray for compassion and mutual understanding. Let's pray for God's Kingdom to come - the Kingdom of reconciliation that Jesus came to bring.

I love this picture of my two friends, Lexi and Sara, because to me it represents friendship beyond our differences. My hope and prayer is that events such as the Paris and Brussels attacks will bring people together, not drive them apart.

Salah: prayer.

On Friday, Salah Abdeslam, one of the terrorists responsible for the Paris attacks, was arrested in Brussels. He had been on the run for several months.

When I heard he had been captured, I felt relief - relief that a dangerous individual is now in the hands of the police, and is no longer a threat. My heart goes out to all those who have lost loved ones in the attacks. I am glad that justice will be done and that Salah will be held accountable for what he did.

However, I have no urge for violent retaliation towards him. First, because I don't want to sink down to hatred and violence. Then, because I have that crazy notion that he is not all that different from me: Salah Abdeslam is a human being.

It reminds me of the post about Hitler  holding a little girl's hand that floated around the internet a while ago. Here is an extract:

"Yeah. It’s fucking scary [the picture]. It really is. Do you know why?

It’s because you’re seeing that he wasn’t, in fact, a monster. You’re seeing in this picture that he was a man. He was a man, and that’s really the saddest part of it all.

[...] The number one mistake anyone could ever make in history is making the assumption that only inhuman monsters are capable of doing terrible things.

Stop dehumanizing Hitler just so you can reassure yourself that “normal” humans aren’t capable of doing bad things."

This is true of Hitler, and this is true of Salah Abdeslam. Evil is part of human nature. I am not saying it's a good thing at all - I am appalled and scared at the evil I see in human beings (including in myself). I am just saying that we should face up to this: as human beings, we are all capable of terrible evil. And sometimes, there are reasons why people fall into evil.

Before I go any further, let me be 100% clear: I do not condone terrorism and violence, and I grieve at destroyed lives. I do not seek excuses for those who engage in such acts. I am; however, willing to try and understand why they do.

If I had been born a second- or third-generation Muslim immigrant, torn between two cultures; if to most white people I had never been anything but "the Arab", or even the "fucking Arab", if I had been denied job opportunities on that ground alone... if I had felt despised and rejected by the society in which I lived, and then someone had come along and told me, "Come, sister, you will be respected and valued with us. You will be part of something great. You will be a hero. Others will no understand why you do it, but you will accomplish something great for God." Would I have believed it? Would I have been caught up in the lie and violence? I hope not, but maybe I would have. I do not ask that we excuse them, only that we understand why young people become violent radicals - and be willing to change our own behaviour so we don't become part of the problem too.

I also believe that all humans can change if they decide to do so. No one has to remain a monster. More than that, I believe that in Jesus, the opportunity is given to everyone to turn themselves around ("repent") and receive God's transforming love. In fact, this is why I am strongly against the death penalty: when you kill someone, you rob them of the chance to change and become a better person, forever.

Salah was supposed to blow himself up but backed out. It could be self-preservation kicking in, it could be something else. He may have had second thoughts about killing other people. In any case, I am glad he did not blow himself up. He is apparently cooperating with the police, so I hope this will help further dismantle the terrorist network he was a part of. I also hope he will feel genuine remorse for his actions.
 
You see, when I heard Salah Abdeslam had been arrested, the first thing that popped into my head was to pray for him. Pray for a fair trial, pray that he won't become the number one scapegoat of a much larger problem. And pray that the grace of God may touch his heart and transform it for good, somehow.

In Arabic, Salah means "prayer". And so I pray that this young man's life may be radically changed and become a true prayer - a testimony of a changed life.

No French flag for me.

I did not change my profile picture to the Facebook French flag thing, and here is why.

I appreciate the sentiment behind it - stand in sympathy with the French people and the victims. Which is why I put up the Eiffel tower/peace sign picture. And I don't criticize people who chose the French flag profile, either.

But using a national flag to represent this sentiment does not sit well with me. The attackers apparently said things like, "Blame your president" and "This is for the people of Syria". France is taking part in fighting ISIS. French president François Hollande has called the Paris attacks an "act of war" committed by a "terrorist army" - worryingly echoing the words of former predident Bush after 9/11. Now, before you berate me, I do not condone terrorism as a response to military attacks - but equally, I do not condone military attacks as a response to terrorism. Military attacks make too many innocent victims, and fertilize the soil in which extremism grows. Military attacks, in my opinion, do not solve anything, but make everything worse. But then, I'm not a diplomat, and I never studied international politics, so I might be blinded by idealism - and this is not me being sarcastic, this is me being honest.

Moreover, I am uncomfortable with any ideology of "nations". I am uncomfortable with the fact that I have more rights in my country than asylum seekers do, simply because I was born in the right place. I did not earn those rights, and they are denied to people who need them simply because they have the wrong nationality. I don't like the idea of borders. At the same time, I am grateful to live in a place where I enjoy freedom of speech (one of the things radical Islamic terrorists stand against), so maybe I just want my cake and eat it too.

The French flag thing is also too reminiscent of the French national party, which preaches national pride and patriotism, and has a racist ideology. People who will no doubt benefit from the Paris attacks, spout out nationalistic, islamophobic and anti-migrants rethoric - "French people first!", by which they mean only white people, of course, definitely not migrants, not second- or third-generation migrants, not Jews...

Finally, as has been pointed out, and without minimizing the suffering of the victims and their families or the trauma France are going through, the profile French flag thing is incredibly Eurocentric. Such attacks happen regularly in countries such as Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, or Pakistan - and Facebook didn't offer us the option to change our profile picture to their flag. Yet their pain and trauma is the same as ours... only, it doesn't feel so close, does it? They live far from us, they look and live differently. I am pointing at myself too: I felt more shocked by the Paris attack than by the Beirut one. Only later did I realise that I was being biaised in favour of my own culture.

I mourn with the victims' loved ones. But I think this wasn't an just attack on France... this was an attack on humanity. I will mourn and pray... for our whole world.

Walking on in the midst of chaos

I was in my car when I heard about the Paris attacks. I felt drained by so much senseless violence and hatred - again.

My first thought was for the victims of this barbarity, and the horrendous pain an shock their loved ones must have felt.Then, I felt overwhelmed by fear for my Muslim neighbours living in the West. Not fear of them; fear for them. They already face bullying, verbal and physical aggression solely because they're Muslims, even though the vast majority of them do not condone terrorism in any way. I fear for their safety and well-being as my human brothers and sisters. And if they meet hostility, hatred and abuse everywhere, how can they live peacefully among us? In fact, this seems to be precisely what ISIS is hoping to achieve. 

"The Paris attacks could spark new waves of Islamophobia in France and beyond — and with it fear of the refugees pouring into Europe from Syria and other countries. This is exactly what ISIS wants; the group has vowed to make it impossible for Muslims to exist peacefully in the West." ISIS wants to force Muslims in the West to choose a camp in the new worldwide war they are hoping to trigger. ISIS wants Muslims to feel alienated and harrassed so they will only have one side to turn to: radicalism.

I am also scared that Western governments will respond with more military strikes. Yet, what good has military involvement done in the past? After 9/11, the US military invaded Afghanistan and Irak. More than 10 years have passed and the Middle East has not been made more stable and safer. It's more volatile than ever. Moreover, the Paris attackers made it clear that they wanted to punish France for its strikes on Syria. Of course, I do not condone terrorism as a response to military attacks - but equally, I do not condone military attacks as a response to terrorism. Violence only breeds violence. Any person who is killed in a military strike is someone's son, someone's brother, someone's father - and if his loved ones cannot forgive, revenge is the way they will seek. So what should we do?

I don't know. I really don't. I feel at loss, and I wish I had an easy answer. 

As a Christian, I turn to Jesus in such times of grief and chaos. 

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." Matthew 5:9

"But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.  Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.  Do to others as you would have them do to you.
 
[...] Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:27-31, 35-36.

That's a tall order. Yet I cannot help but think it's the best way to combat violence. I feel that as Christians especially, we have a responsibility to be welcoming and loving to our Muslims neighbour. When so many already blame the Muslim community as a whole and shower them with hostility, if we, followers of Jesus, do not show the way of love, pleace and forgiveness, who will?

However, I am keenly aware that it's very easy for me to preach peace and forgiveness. I have lost no one. How would I feel if my mother, my brother, my friend and/or my significant other had been killed or grieviously wounded? Would I be able to forgive and to avoid revenge, or would I want "all Muslims dead"? It's easy to be "kind" and "loving" when I was not directly affected. I can only hope and pray I would have that much grace in my heart.

Yet, choosing the way of violent retaliation and fear will only play into the terrorists' hand. If we don't want them to win, walking unafraid and in love is the best way to counter them.

So this is what I will strive to do: walk in love in the midst of chaos, unafraid - and trusting that my God, on the cross, has already played his hand. His move of sacrificial love is what will ultimately defeat evil, violence, and death.

One last word about Charlie

My mother said something to me today that challenged me. After the attack, I put up a "I am Charlie" sign on the back of my car.

She said: If a Muslim sees your "I am Charlie" sign, they may understand it as "I support those who offend Muslims by mocking their prophet".

I had that sign up as a way of saying murdering people over a cartoon (over anything, really) is unacceptable. I did not mean it as a way to provoke anger. Muslims on the whole may decry the acts of terrorists, yet I can perfectly understand that they are feeling offended, indeed provoked. The latest Charlie Hebdo cover looked peaceful to me - Muhammad saying, "all is forgiven" while holding a "I am Charlie" sign seems like extending an olive branch, does it not?

Not if you are a Muslims and you believe it is insulting to draw a caricature of your prophet, a most beloved and revered figure. In that case, it feels like adding fuel to the fire. It does not mean you will take up arms against France, but it will not incite your goodwill.

Moreover, Charb, Charlie Hebdo's murdered editor, reportedly said he wanted "all religions to be kicked out of France"(1). That is not a peaceful or accepting discourse either. It denies other people's freedom of religion, which is ironic from someone who has become an icon of civil liberties. Being brutally murdered by terrorists does not make anyone a saint, even if it is tragic and horrifying.
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So I took down my "I am Charlie" sign.

I wish I could have sign up that says, "I am on the side of anyone who is oppressed in any way, be it because of their opinions, their religion, their nationality, their gender, their sexual orientation or their ethnicity. I am on the side of peace and I am against all forms of violence".

But that would be a bit long for a bumper sticker.

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(1) I read it yesterday in a Belgian magazine, and this article in Belgian newspaper Le Soir alludes to the statement too: http://www.lesoir.be/754485/article/actualite/belgique/2015-01-10/caricaturistes-kroll-vadot-bertrand-ce-qui-s-est-passe-reveille-consciences

Shards of glass

This was on the news yesterday. It seems that some areas of my country (the poorest areas of Brussels, usually - what a surprise...) are a cesspool of Islamic terrosist wannabes...

I couldn't help but weep. It grieves me that people can feel so much rage and hatred that they want to maim and kill. The world seems so full of violence, it's almost unbearable.

How can people be so convinced that some deity wants them to murder their enemies?

The Charlie Hebdo shooters were abandoned as children; the youngest went to prison twice. I don't mean to excuse them in any way, but I don't think people who are at peace with God, themselves and the world become terrorists. Western cities are rife with second or third generation immigrants from the Middle East or further, people who feel torn between two identities and cultures. People who can experience a sense of rejection because of their origins, all the more after terrorist acts. It's only too easy for them to be manipulated into becoming monsters, under the promise of paradise as a reward. Besides, violence and cruelty are one of the facets of human nature, and just like qualities, such dark dispositions can be nurtured to grow and take over someone's heart.

 I wish we could talk some peace and love into them, yet it seems we can't. I believe in "loving your enemies", but if your enemy threatens to destroy again and again and again, and if countless lives are at stake, what do you do? I read a commentator who said that the only thing we can do to stop terrorist attacks is to kill as many terrorists as we can, kill them in the Middle East where they train. Is that really the only answer? Each terrorist is someone's son, someone's brother, someone's friend. Think about that. Those left behind, if they cannot let go and forgive (and how hard is that: forgiving your enemy for killing those you love?), will want to avenge them, and destroy and kill. It never ends.

The cycle of violence grieves me and hurts me.

In The Green Mile, John Coffey, the black prisoner sentenced to death who has the power to heal others, says, "I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time." 

These words resonate with me. Indeed, hatred and hurt and pain feel like shards of glass in my heart.

Sometimes, though, wee see tings that give us hope; like the "I'll walk with you" hashtag, or parents of murdered Israeli and Palestinians comforting one another despite being supposedly from opposite camps. I cling to news like this because I need to believe in hope. I believe in a God who gave his life for humanity's redemption. This, to me, is the cornerstone of hope in a better world. And I believe we are to take part in the healing of the world, each in our own way, no matter how small. I believe that somehow, all hurt will be healed and all tears wiped away. But how about those who refuse reconciliation and forgiveness? Are some people beyond healing, unredeemable? This is what makes me weep.