Abortion is murder?

A law was passed in New York, "safeguarding rights laid out in Roe v. Wade and other court rulings, including a provision permitting late-term abortions when a woman's health is endangered". I believe this is a good thing. I believe this is NOT about "murdering babies".

I am Christian, from an Evangelical background, and I know many of my friends will have a knee-jerk reaction to this. So, please, friends, consider this.

I am a woman. I had two miscarriages, causing me deep emotional pain as well as physical pain. I am now 5 months pregnant and I thank God every day that my baby is alive and healthy so far. My point is, I know how it feels to have a baby grow inside of me.

I cannot believe, not for one second, that any woman would carry a baby in her womb for so long and then suddenly, out of the blue, decide to get rid of it for reasons of convenience. Serious health complications can and do arise later in pregnancy that leave a (heartbroken) woman no other choice but to abort. It's not only her life that can be in danger, it can be a fetus that is not viable. An acquaintance of mine found out during a second-term ultrasound scan that her baby's brain had failed to develop. We are not even talking about a brain problem that would result in severe physical or learning disabilities, but about an issue that would make the baby unable to survive once it is born. The lady had to abort. What else could she do?

Someone on Facebook shared a story about a fetus with an undeveloped heart which was detected late in the pregnancy. The mother was past 24 weeks, carrying a dying baby.

Babies can and do die in the womb for various reasons. What happens when a human dies? The body starts decaying. What happens if dead tissue starts decaying inside a person's (the mother's) body? You die of septic shock. So it is necessary to abort the dead fetus.

Those are the cases that make allowing late-term abortions necessary. I will not rejoice over abortions, but I am aware that in some cases, there is no other choice.

What is it like to work in a centre for asylum seekers?

So what is it like to work at a Red Cross centre for asylum seekers? Well, it is many things.

It's challenging. 

We house about 500 people from over 10 different nationalities, with a broad range of culture, education and background. Most are Muslims, some are Christians, a few are atheists. Some come from big cities, others from remote villages. We have single men, families (up to 10 children), single women, couples (including a few gay couples) and a few unaccompanied minors (teenagers). There's bound to be tensions and disagreements, and if you don't manage to calm things down and find a compromise everybody agrees on, you may very well have a fight on your hands. 

Because let's face it: this is a human population like any other. Some people are hard-working and offer to help out straight away, others are lazy. Some are kind and meek, others are angry and aggressive. They all have qualities and faults like the rest of us. Being asylum seekers doesn't make them angels (and equally, it doesn't make them demons either!). And all of them are under a huge amount of anxiety and stress, having gone through a rough journey (not to speak about the horrors of war and persecution), being housed in far-from-ideal conditions in a strange country, and living in complete uncertainty about their own future, as they don't know whether and when their asylum request will be granted.

Moreover, the centre is actually an old, de-commissioned hospital. Not only was it not in very good conditions to begin with, but it was never designed to accomodate 500 people. We get daily complaints about leaks, heating or water failures, or broken electrics. To top it all, we are in an rural area. The nearest village is 30 minutes away on foot, and the nearest town is 30 minutes away by bus (and busses don't run at the weekend). Residents feel isolated.

Then there is the language barrier. The majority of them only speak very, very basic English (or none at all), so communication can be a huge issue. When a mother comes to you in a panic, speaking quickly in Farsi while holding her child, and there is no one near who could translate what she is so urgently trying to tell you, it's intensely frustrating and stressful, because you know she needs you, but you can't help her until you've found someone who speaks Farsi AND English.

It's chaotic.

The centre only opened on October 1st, and a lot of repairs and refurbishment had to be done. We've had days when we knew a coach of 50 people would arrive an hour later, and workmen were still putting in showers and kitchens in the block where we were supposed to house them. The beds that were initially ordered turned out to be a disaster, as most of them broke, and we had to order new ones. Some rooms don't have a lock yet, resulting in children pillaging a room where we had stocked donated toys - I wanted to cry when I saw the state of the room afterwards. Fortunately, parents came to help us tidy up. In any case, we're often running around like headless chickens because there is so much to do.

It's heartbreaking. 

One man broke down in tears in front of me after being transferred to our centre. After enduring a dangerous journey, he had been temporarily housed in a camp under tents and had started making himself useful and getting to know people around him, only to be suddendly transferred here where he knew no one and felt useless. It was the last straw for him, and he cried and cried. Another man has no contact with his family at all - they live in Taliban country and he has no idea whether they're alive or dead. Yet another one, aged 24, lost his young son in an explosion.

It's wonderful.

You get to meet people from all walks of life and get a glimpse of their culture. If you're in the hallways at meal times, more often than not you're invited to share food with them. And then, they tell you their stories. They're doctors, engineers, barbers, singers, pilots, plumbers, therapists, artists. Theirs are human stories of joy and pain and loss and hope. A Muslim lady and her husband took a young lesbian couple under their wings - the girls now call them "Mama" and "Papa". Yesterday, a father and his daughter were reunited with his wife and 2 other children - they had been separated during the journey and we helped them trace each other. Seeing a 3-year-old girl scream, "Mama!", run down the corridor and throw herself around her mother's neck, then lifting up her 18-months-old brother and hugging him tight, is priceless.

It's joyful. 

I attended a "mutlicultural party" in another centre nearby. Afghan, Iraqi and Somali people showed us some traditional dancing, culminating in a big round dance where they grabbed by mother, my partner and myself, so we found ourselves in the middle of the dance floor. We're having such a party in our centre tomorrow night and I can't wait!

It's never dull, as we never know what might happen and there's always a funny anecdote waiting to be told. Yesterday, a resident came to me at 6:30 pm asking to see his social worker. I straighfacedly informed him that she had gone home, and that contrary to what it may seem at times, we do not sleep on the premises (we both burst out laughing at that point).

As a Christian, it is a true blessing.

I have a unique opportunity to serve people, and thus, to serve Jesus. When many hostile voices are rising against Muslims and refugees, I can show them love in a practical way (which, in terms of sharing the Gospel, speaks louder than any sermon). I am getting used to seeing different faces and this helps me overcome the fear we naturally feel when confronted to "the stranger". I am daily humbled by people's stories, and by my own lack of patience. I am learning daily to see people as Jesus sees them - beloved children of God. And trust me, that doesn't come easy when the same person comes for the same minor complaint for the third time while you're trying to deal with a sick child, or you have to face an angry, shouting man. It's a blessing, and it's humbling.

I love my job. Truly.

The need to be touched

Last week, I wrote a post about the need to be touched. Today I'd like to share a conversation I've had with one of the Red Cross volunteers who help out at our asylum seekers centre.

This lady is a trained reflexology therapist. She comes twice a week to give free foot reflexology massages to residents. Many of them have had to walk long distances, often with unsuitable shoes; and their feet are in a sore state (no pun intended). Add to that the stress of war trauma and of a perilous journey, the uncertainty about their own future, and the feeling of loss of control over their own lives. Our residents are under a lot of stress, and reflexology can really help. I am incredibly grateful to this lady for giving her time and skills for them. From two anecdotes she recounted, they are grateful too.

Those who come and see her often open up about what they've been through, as the treatment allows them to finally relax. At the end of the session, one of them took her hands in his and thanked her, saying, "You remind me of my mother. I miss her so much!" With that, he burst into tears and ran out of the room.

At the end of his treatment, another one said to her, "Now you sit down, madam." He then gave her a back massage. Turns out he was a trained massage therapist back home.

I think these stories speak from themselves about the importance of touch.

 

"We cannot take in all the misery of the world!"

You may or may not know that since 1 October 2015, I have been working in a Red Cross centre for asylum seekers. This is a job that suits my values and beliefs, and I view it as a great and challenging opportunity to serve God and others, as a Christian.

However, when I mention my work, there is a little sentence that I hear far too often and that really gets on my nerves.
 
"We cannot take in all the misery of the world!"

Nobody is asking us to take in all the misery of the world. According to recent statistics, 27,000 people registered as asylum seekers in Belgium. This is hardly "all the misery in the world" - not even close. If all conflict and poverty victims really came to Europe, we'd have billions to cope with, not thousands.

Which brings me to my second point. We may be facing an economic crisis, but we are still part of a privileged minority. None of us have to wonder where our next meal will come from, or where we will sleep tonight. We don't have to fear bombing, beheading, or persecution because of our ideas, faith or lifestyle. We enjoy huge amounts of freedom, and we have more than we need. Moreover, the only reason we have that privilege is that we were born in the right place. We did nothing to deserve it. So how dare we reject those who are less fortunate in that respect?

Not all people currently seeking asylum in Belgium will stay. Some decide to go back home when they realise what appalling conditions they'll have to live in for an undetermined period of time (have you ever visited a refugee camp?) Others won't get refugee status - criteria are strict and the procedure itself is complex. Others still will only be granted a subsidiary protection that's limited in time - if the situation in their country gets better, they will be asked to leave Europe.

Some, however, will stay. They will be workers and consumers, enabling our economy to keep going. They will bring their skills (many residents in my centre are engineers). They will be our neighbours, our doctors, or our shopkeepers. I hope they will be our friends, but that all depends on how we welcome them. If we treat them with wariness and hostility, how can they become integrated in our society?

During World War 2, many Belgians fled the country for fear of the Germans. My grandmother recalls that many French citizens regarded Belgian refugees with hostility, with some villages putting up signs that said, "No water for Belgians". How short our memory is!

Finally, if we don't welcome them, what should we do? Should we let them die on our doorstep? They're human beings. They're all somebody's son or daughter. They're fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters. Would you let your mother or your brother die on your doorstep because you worry there might not be enough room inside for them?

If you have a better solution, a human and compassionate alternative, we are all ears. 

Coming out - and standing against evil

Today, I wish to share with you something I have been wrestling with for a long, long time, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.

Last September, I explained how I had become a Christian. Of course, understanding who Jesus is and what he did for us is just the beginning. Most churches spend time teaching believers what it means to live as a Christian. And a subject Evangelical churches like to cover is sexual ethics, which brings me to the main point of my post. I was taught early on that according to the Bible, homosexual behaviour is sin. Verses from Leviticus, Romans and 1 Corinthians are often used to back this up, as well as the general idea that God created humans male and female to enjoy a complementary relationship, and that human marriage reflects the relationship between Jesus and the church. So I took it all on board, which was easy enough since it didn't apply to me - after all, I am straight, right?

As it happens, the university I attended the following year seemingly had a significant proportion of people who identified as gay. As a consequence, I decided to investigate the matter further in order to understand them better. In my opinion, before trying to share the good news of God's love for humankind, one has to put oneself in the other person's shoes and have empathy with their plight, whatever it may be. I read Striving for Gender Identity, a book that adheres to the traditional view, but attempts to explain the underlying causes of homosexuality. In short, the book presents homosexuality as failure to identify with one's gender, and a resulting attraction for what is a mystery to one - one's own gender (whereas in heterosexual attraction, the appeal resides in the fact that the opposite sex is somewhat of a mystery). The book also claimed that homosexuality could be cured by first reconciling the person with his or her gender. Again, from an outsider's perspective, I thought that made very good sense, and so I began to see homosexuals as people who suffered from a psychological condition. In any case, people I ought to treat with kindness. It's also around that time that I began to realise no one chooses to be gay, not any more than I chose to be straight.

Years passed, and I met a variety of people, including people who identify as gay. They were real people, with their life stories and emotions. They were faces and smiles and tears; people I could relate to. I also met Christians who didn't consider homosexuality as a sin. This puzzled me somewhat, and I started reading up more about it. Over the years, I read many well-thought out arguments that claimed homosexuality was not necessarily a sin according to the Bible. I heard the voice of Christians who said this is an area where we ought to agree to disagree. I also read stories of people who were badly emotionally damaged by so-called "gay cures".

Then, last year, Christian singer Vicki Beeching came out. I knew her because she led worship at Spring Harvest one of the years I went. She is a committed Christian who loves God deeply. What moved me to my core was her honest recount of the suffering she went through, how hard she tried "not to be gay", and how she pleaded with God, in tears, to free her from her homosexuality. And he didn't. 

I couldn't help but think, "Hang on, if God loves us so much he actually died for us, why would he let his child beg him to deliver her from her own sin, and not free her from it?" Unless it wasn't a sin at all. 

Two days ago, Tony Campolo, a prominent evangelical speaker, spoke out in favour of gay marriage. He is one of a growing number.
 
So where do I stand now? I will give you my 100% honest answer. I do not know. I do not know whether homosexuality is a sin or not. I have read countless arguements for both sides and they make good sense - on both sides. So I am sitting on the fence. But maybe that is not the point.

Maybe I wasn't called to make a judgement on this. Maybe as Christians, we are called to love and welcome everyone just as they are, just as they stand, as Jesus did. Maybe, just maybe it's better to "err on the side of compassion", as Christian blogger Benjamin Corey puts it. 

What I do know, though, is that Jesus calls us to speak out against oppression and the dehumanization of people. In some countries, homosexuality is punishable by death, and, horrendously enough, this has been supported by Western Christians. In the US, homosexuals have been denied access to services on the basis of their sexual orientation. That, I believe, is wrong. That, I believe, is sinful. 

And so this is my coming out. I am an ally.

I may not be certain of what I believe on the issue, but I am an ally. I choose not to discriminiate against gays. I choose to support them in their plight. I do not believe there is a "gay agenda" trying to throw our society into chaos. I believe there are human beings who need the same thing I do - love and acceptance. I believe there are couples in love who simply want the right to live together, the right to visit their life partner in hospital, or inherit from him should the worst happen. Gays do not choose to be attracted to someone of the same sex. No one wakes up one morning thinking, "Hey, I think I'm gonna try this gay thing". Their sexual orientation more often than not sets them up for bullying, discrimination, or worse. 

Moreover, I think there are far more serious issues facing our world today, such as child trafficking or the exploitation of people by big corporations in order to make profit. 

Franklin Graham, the son of famous evangelist Billy Graham, very recently deplored the "moral decay" that he ascribes to the gay agenda, and has decided to move his money out of a bank that used a homosexual couple in their advertising. He says, 

"Let’s just stop doing business with those who promote sin and stand against Almighty God’s laws and His standards. Maybe if enough of us do this, it will get their attention."

Why, Mr Graham, I wholeheartedly agree. I hope, therefore, that you do not buy anything from big corporations (Monsanto or Nestlé, for instance) who make profit by exploiting human beings (who are bearers of the image of God) and destroying God's creation (that he gave us stewardship of). I hope you and your organisation put your money in banks that invest in ethical businesses, not in said human-exploiting corporations. I hope you strive to buy fair-traded coffee and chocolate to ensure no child has been enslaved to produce what you consume. Do use your power as a consumer to stand against evil. But do it thoroughly, and about the issues that really matter. You are strangely silent on blatant social injustice. People are enslaved and exploited so we, Westerners, can keep enjoying all our little luxuries. That, in my opinion, is a far more serious "moral decay" that people like you conveniently ignore.

As for me, I'll always try my best to be an ally to those who suffer. I will choose compassion over judgement.

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Further reading on the issue of homosexuality and Christianity: Matthew Vines' book God and the Gay Christian;  blog series by Preston Sprinkle and Jeff Cook "Discussing Homosexuality: a Better Way".

Outrageous

You may, or may not, be aware of a tragedy that ripped Belgium apart in 1996 - the Dutroux case.

Marc Dutroux abducted, raped and killed several girls ranging in age from 8 to 19. His wife, Michelle Martin, was aware of her husband's actions, and when he was held in custody for car theft for 3 months, her failure to feed two kidnapped girls, Julie and Melissa, led to their death. He was sentenced to like emprisonment without parole, and his wife was sentenced to 30 years for taking part in the abductions and causing the death of Julie and Melissa. My country was shaken with grief at these horrors.

In 2012, Michelle Martin was released, much to the victims' families' grief and outrage. At first, she stayed at a convent, until the nuns had to move out and decided against taking Michelle with them.

In the last few days, news came out that former judge Christian Panier was going to rent out part of his house to Michelle Martin. He argued that "reinsertion is what makes the difference between revenge justice and civilised justice", and that "there is always a glimmer of humanity deep in the heart of someone who has done something evil".

Julie's father denounced Christian Panier's decision to help the woman who caused the death of his daughter, and most members of the public share in his indignation. Indeed, her involvement in the abductions and deaths is seen as unredeemable by many. Moreover, many freed prisoners who were guilty of far lesser crimes are not given such help with their reinsertion into society, not to speak about those who, through no fault of their own, struggle to find or keep a roof over their heads. The very idea that Michelle Martin should enjoy such comfort is absolutely outrageous. Isn't she completely undeserving of such help, given that she hasn't even issued a public apology of any kind?

Absolutely outrageous.

Yet, this is exactly what the Christian gospel claims God has done for us. It claims that none of us are "good", that we have all rejected God in our hearts to have our own way instead. That, we believe, is the root of all evil in the world: our decision to do as we please, rather than to do what is good. Yet, God provided a way for us to be forgiven, by offering Jesus as a substitute, to die the death we deserve, so we can be reconciled to God. This is grace: to be given what we do not deserve. This is the message of Easter. And because we have been forgiven, we want to change - not to deserve God's love, but in response to it.

I believe that what Christian Panier is doing for Michelle Martin is an act of grace. Does she deserve it? No, absolutely not. Just as the gospel claims we did not deserve God's love. But maybe, once given that grace, it may spur her to a real change of heart. Grace is given freely, but its purpose is always transformation. Michelle Martin may or may not change, but the possibility is offered to her. She is free to take it, just like we are free to take the opportunity God give us to live a new life of grace and transformation.

Outrageous? Absolutely. Yet this is the God I believe in: a God of outrageous grace.

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There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. Romans 3:22-25

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Romans 5:6-10

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.  But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation. Colossians 1:21-22

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  1 John:9-10

Cast the first stone

I wrote this poem a few years ago and it feels quite fitting today, relating to a situation I won't get into because it's personal.

"Cast the first stone

Cast the first stone, why don't you?

Cast the stone on the adulteress who's crouching in the dust
never mind the nameless man who was with her

Cast the stone on the drug addict who's shaking all over
never mind the one who first sold him powdered dreams
Cast the stone on the loser who cannot pull his life together
never mind that he never had any hope to stand upon

Cast the stone on the lost child looking for boundaries
Cast the stone on the lost soul looking for purpose.

Cast the first stone, why don't you?

Cast the stone of your judgement
Cast the stone of your fears
Cast the stones of your own shortcomings and insecurities.

Cast the first stone, why don't you?

Condemn with your righteous hearts
Cast your cursing stones upon the sinner.

Have you forgotten?
You'll be buried under the stones you've thrown
They will be the monument on your grave

Because Jesus said:

He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone. (John 8:7)

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Luke 6:37 and Matthew 7:2)

Have you forgotten?
It was the tax collector
the sinner
the outcast
who went home forgiven
not the religious man boasting about his own spirituality.
(Luke 18:9-14).

Because Jesus said:

It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. (Mark 2:17)"